PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - RETIRE LATER

[hollanda]

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

As the life expectancy is increasing in most parts of the worlds, some believe that a rise in the legal age for retirement is necessary. While I agree that this option can bring about several benefits, I would argue that it is better to remain the current legal age for retirement unchanged.

To begin with, there are two main benefits when senior workers can lengthen their professional life. Firstly, they can contribute greater to the development of their company. As they have been working for many years, they have accumulated a vast amount of knowledge and experience, which allows them to improve the productivity enhance the level of job performance. Secondly, elderly employees can enjoy a higher salary compared to pension when they work. As a result, they can afford to travel overseas, go on luxury holidays, which offers them an immense sense of satisfaction.

Nevertheless, I am convinced that elderly workers should still retire at the current legal age for retirement no matter how much longer they can survive. The first reason is that this policy will guarantee a balance in workforce. If older employees stayed at their job for a longer duration, there might be a dearth of job opportunities for their younger counterparts. Furthermore, it is a common sense that as people get older, the ability to sustain stress reduces. Therefore, they might be unable to perform properly under pressure in a certain number of professions in their sixties.

In conclusion, although it may be beneficial to some extent to have many senior workers at the office, I am inclined towards the view that the legal age for retirement should not be raised regardless of the increase in life expectancy.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good essay. I think that the points could be developed a little more to get a higher score.

Well done!
David

[FrankFriel]

Your essay is good. Puts some more good points which ponders your article. Thanks.