Writing Task - Will appreciate inputs - Aiming fr HI BAND

[jaffer.anwer]

Some families have opted to teach their children at home. Why do you think this is?
In your opinion, do you think that all children should be taught in school environment?
Say why you think home schooling would not be a good idea and also point out some benefits for this chosen form of education.

Home schooling is an emerging trend, while it has many perks some people do argue otherwise and recommend traditional schooling model.

On the one hand education at schools enhances the personality of the students as they are exposed to diverse conditions and personalities. Firstly, the pupils are subjected to practice their adaptability skills with different teachers and fellow pupils. For example, behavior of a student in the presence of a strict advisor is unlike in the presence of a lenient one. Secondly, the disciples in an institution participate in various types of events such as drama, sports and elocution to name a few. This kind of indulgence helps in grooming their people’s skills and upgrades their extrovert attitude.

On the other hand, in my view tutoring at home avoids acquaintance with the external educational ambience. The disciple is unaware of pressure or time managed situations. The candidate trained at home may be less competitive when compared to the candidates attending an academy. In other words, activities such as athletics, quizzes and exercises are not inducted.
Nevertheless, the assets of family coaching cannot be overlooked. Firstly, the learner is administered with personal or individual attention as opposed to schools where many students are monitored by a single instructor in a class. Secondly, educational freedom enables the learner superior grasping of the topics. Finally, some families prefer raising their children in religious surroundings that is possible while taking home tuitions. As a result siblings are much closer to each other as they spend almost all the time together when compared to attending school. For instance, my brother trains his kids at home therefore; they bond much better than my sister’s children who attend school.

In conclusion, hashing out both teaching models careful consideration is required before opting for schools or home tutoring.

[Johnson zhang]

Some families have opted to teach their children at home. Why do you think this is?
In your opinion, do you think that all children should be taught in school environment?
Say why you think home schooling would not be a good idea and also point out some benefits for this chosen form of education.
four questions? is this an ielts question. if it is, its a strange one.

Home schooling is an emerging trend, while it has many perks some people do argue otherwise and recommend traditional schooling model.

On the one hand education at schools enhances the personality of the students as they are exposed to diverse conditions and personalities. Firstly, the pupils are subjected to practice their adaptability skills with different teachers and fellow pupils. For example, behavior of a student in the presence of a strict advisor is unlike in the presence of a lenient one. Secondly, the disciples in an institution participate in various types of events such as drama, sports and elocution to name a few. This kind of indulgence helps in grooming their people’s skills and upgrades their extrovert attitude.
so you talked about why schooling at an institution is good....

On the other hand, in my view tutoring at home avoids acquaintance with the external educational ambience. The disciple is unaware of pressure or time managed situations. The candidate trained at home may be less competitive when compared to the candidates attending an academy. In other words, activities such as athletics, quizzes and exercises are not inducted.

not so good things about home schooling.

Nevertheless, the assets of family coaching cannot be overlooked. Firstly, the learner is administered with personal or individual attention as opposed to schools where many students are monitored by a single instructor in a class. Secondly, educational freedom enables the learner superior grasping of the topics. Finally, some families prefer raising their children in religious surroundings that is possible while taking home tuitions. As a result siblings are much closer to each other as they spend almost all the time together when compared to attending school. For instance, my brother trains his kids at home therefore; they bond much better than my sister’s children who attend school.
good things about home schooling

In conclusion, hashing out both teaching models careful consideration is required before opting for schools or home tutoring.

First, your punctuation isn't on bar with your overall writing skill.
this question is kinda weird. It asks for the reasons for why people want to teach their kids at home.
It asks for if every child should attend a school.
then it asks for the downside of home schooling and advantages of it.

I don't think you answered the questions fully. You didn't say why people need or want to teach their kids at home, maybe because of a poor financial situation. You didn't talk about if every kid on the block should be put into a school.

still I think your english is good. if you are after an 8, it needs more work.

[jaffer.anwer]

Some families have opted to teach their children at home. Why do you think this is?
In your opinion, do you think that all children should be taught in school environment?
Say why you think home schooling would not be a good idea and also point out some benefits for this chosen form of education.
four questions? is this an ielts question. if it is, its a strange one.

Home schooling is an emerging trend, while it has many perks some people do argue otherwise and recommend traditional schooling model.

On the one hand education at schools enhances the personality of the students as they are exposed to diverse conditions and personalities. Firstly, the pupils are subjected to practice their adaptability skills with different teachers and fellow pupils. For example, behavior of a student in the presence of a strict advisor is unlike in the presence of a lenient one. Secondly, the disciples in an institution participate in various types of events such as drama, sports and elocution to name a few. This kind of indulgence helps in grooming their people’s skills and upgrades their extrovert attitude.
so you talked about why schooling at an institution is good....

On the other hand, in my view tutoring at home avoids acquaintance with the external educational ambience. The disciple is unaware of pressure or time managed situations. The candidate trained at home may be less competitive when compared to the candidates attending an academy. In other words, activities such as athletics, quizzes and exercises are not inducted.

not so good things about home schooling.

Nevertheless, the assets of family coaching cannot be overlooked. Firstly, the learner is administered with personal or individual attention as opposed to schools where many students are monitored by a single instructor in a class. Secondly, educational freedom enables the learner superior grasping of the topics. Finally, some families prefer raising their children in religious surroundings that is possible while taking home tuitions. As a result siblings are much closer to each other as they spend almost all the time together when compared to attending school. For instance, my brother trains his kids at home therefore; they bond much better than my sister’s children who attend school.
good things about home schooling

In conclusion, hashing out both teaching models careful consideration is required before opting for schools or home tutoring.

First, your punctuation isn't on bar with your overall writing skill.
this question is kinda weird. It asks for the reasons for why people want to teach their kids at home.
It asks for if every child should attend a school.
then it asks for the downside of home schooling and advantages of it.

I don't think you answered the questions fully. You didn't say why people need or want to teach their kids at home, maybe because of a poor financial situation. You didn't talk about if every kid on the block should be put into a school.

still I think your english is good. if you are after an 8, it needs more work.

Thanks, for having a detailed glance at my essay. I appreciate your comments and would be really helpful if you suggested where to improvise.

[Johnson zhang]

I thought I made it clear.

Your punctuation isn't good.
in my opinion, you didn't fully address the questions.


(my ideas)
para 1, I think the main reason why some parents want to teach their children at home is because they can save tuition fees.
para 2, I don't think all children should go to a school because such mandatory policy strips away the choice of home schooling from some families.
para 3, home schooling could not provide a systematic solution to kids' education; however, it is attentive and personalised, and best for getting the most out of children's time spent in learning.

[jaffer.anwer]

I thought I made it clear.

Your punctuation isn't good.
in my opinion, you didn't fully address the questions.


(my ideas)
para 1, I think the main reason why some parents want to teach their children at home is because they can save tuition fees.
para 2, I don't think all children should go to a school because such mandatory policy strips away the choice of home schooling from some families.
para 3, home schooling could not provide a systematic solution to kids' education; however, it is attentive and personalised, and best for getting the most out of children's time spent in learning.

While, I appreciate your concern but please, take it easy.
I have already been awarded band 7 by an IELTS examiner for the same essay.
I will definitely work on it to improve it.

Thanks, again for your kind words.

[Johnson zhang]

yes. this essay is at the 7 level. I thought you wanted a 8. I was just not sure it was good enough to get an 8.
I detect your sensitivity in taking criticism. I will leave you alone then.

[jaffer.anwer]

yes. this essay is at the 7 level. I thought you wanted a 8. I was just not sure it was good enough to get an 8.
I detect your sensitivity in taking criticism. I will leave you alone then.

[jaffer.anwer]

yes. this essay is at the 7 level. I thought you wanted a 8. I was just not sure it was good enough to get an 8.
I detect your sensitivity in taking criticism. I will leave you alone then.

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket.
Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter
• Say who you are
• Give details about the accident
• Suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to inform you regarding an accident that happened in your supermarket a week back. My name is Anwer Jaffer; I am a regular shopper at this store since, past five years as I reside across the street.
As usual, I visited your location last Saturday, while I gathered my groceries in the dairy section to move towards the gift shop, I slipped and hurt myself. My entire backside was sore forcing me to remain in bed for two days before recovering. Apparently, someone spilled a few cans of milk and juice which was not cleaned in time causing the entire floor to be dirty and dangerous.
Some shoppers informed the floor supervisor about the wet floor. I suggest you, staff adequately to assist customers and make sure there is more than one floor in-charge available to monitor such situations.
I hope, my suggestions are helpful in avoiding such incidents in future.

Sincerely,
Anwer J

[jaffer.anwer]

In the past, many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repairs to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing.
Why do you think this change is happening? How far is this situation true in your country?

People of earlier generations had handy skills, namely, stitching clothes or doing household maintenance. However, this is not same these days.

From my perspective, the following are the reasons. Firstly, times have changed and so have the skills. Earlier generations had to limit their expenses; therefore, they were forced to learn basic repairs and other household chores. On the contrary, today the trend is ready to wear clothes. Ample number of brands and stores with competitive prices are easily available to choose from unlike, a few generations back. For instance, buying a pair of jeans is less time consuming rather than having one stitched. Secondly, present day generation is preoccupied with irrelevant obsessions such as, mobiles, play stations or on-line gaming, laptops and tablets to name a few. Nevertheless, people of former generations involved in learning creative activities like gardening, knitting, playing musical instruments, etc. Thirdly, nowadays, everyone is targeting earning more money and it is unimaginable to what extent some people go to make that extra income.

Globalization has its effect on all the countries. Unfortunately, in my country that is India, it is very common to see workers commuting long distances. Although, this was not true during my grandparent’s time, their most common mode of transport was a bicycle. Today, inter-district public transport is an everyday routine for a majority. Other than that, society compels to start earning at an early age. Young people have stretch work schedules hindering them the time for creative learning.

In conclusion, Globalization has its effects on all the countries including mine, resulting in contrasting competence levels of homely endeavours between people of today and the past.

[jaffer.anwer]

Hey Johnson zhang,
Sorry, I misunderstood you.
Kindly, provide feedback on the new postings

yes. this essay is at the 7 level. I thought you wanted a 8. I was just not sure it was good enough to get an 8.
I detect your sensitivity in taking criticism. I will leave you alone then.

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket.
Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter
• Say who you are
• Give details about the accident
• Suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to inform you regarding an accident that happened in your supermarket a week back. My name is Anwer Jaffer; I am a regular shopper at this store since, past five years as I reside across the street.
As usual, I visited your location last Saturday, while I gathered my groceries in the dairy section to move towards the gift shop, I slipped and hurt myself. My entire backside was sore forcing me to remain in bed for two days before recovering. Apparently, someone spilled a few cans of milk and juice which was not cleaned in time causing the entire floor to be dirty and dangerous.
Some shoppers informed the floor supervisor about the wet floor. I suggest you, staff adequately to assist customers and make sure there is more than one floor in-charge available to monitor such situations.
I hope, my suggestions are helpful in avoiding such incidents in future.

Sincerely,
Anwer J