Please comment on my writing

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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rule_breaker
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:12 am

Please comment on my writing

Post by rule_breaker »

Some people say that purpose of education is to prepare useful society members. Others say that it is only helpful to achieve people’s personal ambitions.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.


Education is the useful tool which is the main foundation of any society and civilization. Every year, around in the world, many students get their education in various institutions and put their valuable contributions in society’s development. On the other hand, some people believe that gaining an education for themselves is just to achieve their own benefits. Analyzing the factors of society’s development would prove that it is not true.

The better education provides better citizens to a society who further help to lead the other people. For instance, Doctor A.P.J Abdul Kalam is one of the great scientists, who has invented several advanced weaponry and Missiles for the safety and defense system of India. It could be done because of his high educational experience and the feeling to serve the country. This point proves that the purpose of education is not always for personal ambitions.

Moreover, many non-government organizations are providing education to poor people on a voluntary basis. For example, in Mcleodganj, many young, educated students after completing their studies, are serving and giving free education to Tibetian refugees under the management of various non-government organizations such as Tibet World, Tibet Movement and so on. Those volunteers could earn benefits from their educational skills by doing jobs in reputed schools and colleges, but they are serving society for the bright future of the coming generation.

To recapitulate, it can be seen that purpose of education is not only for personal achievements even it helps to create a better and safe environment in a civilization progress with the contributions of advantageous society members.
rule_breaker
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 7:12 am

Re: Please comment on my writing

Post by rule_breaker »

Please help me by giving grade to my essay, i have exam on this Saturday.
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