pls grade it - kids are unhealthy- report

[rairaichan0323]

Nowadays, many children are not as fit and healthy as children used to be in the past. What are the causes? How could it be solved?

In this age of change, the human society is progressing rapidly on various fronts. Yet, at the same time, many problems have arisen, a serious one of them is youngsters are not as health and fit as ancestors. This issue had drawn widespread attention. This essay will examine the major cause and the solution of this problem.

Firstly, the greatest cause of this issue today come as a result of an unhealthy diet. In the contemporary society, youths often consume fast foods which are incredibly high in fat and salt. For instance, children like having meals in a fast food restaurant such as McDonald’s and KFC. This makes it clear that eating such high calorie foods can cause numerous health issues. As this shows, children are continuously taking not nutrient diet can be concluded today's greatest cause of weak body conditions than previous generations.

A suggested solution to the above is education. To illustrate, government can motivate institutions to introduce more nutrient foods to their pupils. Also, it can educate healthy diets to citizens through the public campaigns. This, the dwellers would pay more attention while choosing foods. It is obvious from this that teaching could be a plausible solution to this matter.

In conclusion, this is clearly a problem of such complexity and that there is no solution likely in the not too distant future. However, I believe that the measure outlined above could constitute a good first step. Also, I contend that the administration should persistently invest more money in these campaigns in order to assist the inhabitants to build healthy eating styles.

[durai]

Hi Rairaichan.....I just fed up with this test and having bit of break ...anyway...I give my suggestions for this one...


In this age of change, the human society is progressing rapidly on various fronts. This sentence is unnecessary, nothing to do with topic of essay Yet, at the same time, many problems have arisen and one of them is current young generation are not as healthy and fit as their ancestors. This issue had drawn widespread attention remove this one. This essay will examine the causes and suggest suitable solutions.

sample: Over the recent years, children are not healthy and fit as they used to be. There are many reasons for this worrying trend. This essay will examine those reasons and suggest suitable solutions.

Firstly, one of the main causes of this issue today comes as a result of an unhealthy diet. In this contemporary society, children ( "youths" is informal often consume fast foods which are rich in fat and salt. For instance, children in Australia try to be specific with example, just ad some country name, so you can easily convince examiner like having meals in a fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s and KFC where foods are usually high in fat. here , you need to demonstrate why they eating in there which is an extension of the task This makes it clear that eating such high calorie foods can cause numerous health issues. As this shows, children are continuously taking not nutrient diet can be concluded today's greatest cause of weak body conditions than previous generations.

list some reasons :

eating fast food
lack of exercise
unaware of benefits of keeping healthy body

sample:

One of the main causes of children being unhealthy in these days is due to unbalanced diet. Young generation are attracted by fast food restaurants which usually provide fatty and salty foods. For example, children in Australia are consuming pizza's and burgers more than they were in the past because of offers given by fast food chains such as Mcdonalds and KFC. To tackle this issue, governments and parents should create awareness among children by demonstrating them the drawbacks of such foods. Chinese children, for instance, are constantly encouraged by their parents to take healthy meals which are keeping them fit as a fiddle.



A suggested solution to the above is education. extend this one.. is educating children about their food habits To illustrate, government can motivate institutions to introduce more nutrient foods to their pupils. reword like " For example, government can motivate educational institutions to create awareness among pupils about benefits of healthy diet. Also, they can promote educate doesn't suit here healthy diets to citizens through various public campaigns. With such method, young generation would pay more attention while choosing foods. It is obvious from this that teaching could be a plausible solution to this matter. remove last sentence

In conclusion, this is clearly a problem of such complexity and that there is no solution likely in the not too distant future. very general statement, examiners might think you memorised this one However, I believe that the measure outlined above could constitute a good first step. this one too Also, I contend that the administration should persistently invest more money in these campaigns in order to assist the inhabitants to build healthy eating styles. unclear finishing

sample: To sum up, fast food habits are the main cause of children being unhealthy than they were in the past. However, with proper public campaigns by different educational institutions would teach children about the benefits of having nutritional food which in turn keep them fit and healthy. It is hoped that future young generation would be fit as a fiddle.


keep practicing..learn your mistakes.....it is not necessary to wrote essays very often but to learn how to write good essays is very important than just writing essays everyday,

so, just learn and practice....gud luck..

[rairaichan0323]

thank you Durai,

thanks for ur valuable comment. also if u have a time , could you pls keep on eyes of my message and give me some comments. thanks a lot!!