Could you please rate my task and or provide the corrections

[charsline]

I will be glad if you help me.



Question
Write about the following topic:
The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.
Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Answer
Having nearly thirty million vehicles on British roads, is a very good development which happened to the people of Britain within a dozen of years. Having cars as form of transport will actually lessen the burden of transporting good over long distances. Not only good will be transported, even humans will at least travel long distances at a very short period of time. Having these cars will also see some other individuals getting jobs. Some will be paid drivers, to help those car owners who can’t drive. Take for example, if sudden sickness attacks someone, then if there is a car nearby there will be an easy way of transporting the patient to the hospital. Cars actually save life and time simultaneously. So, there is no need to encourage any alternative forms of transport or having laws to control car ownership and use.
However, on the other side cars do not only emit toxic gases which causes acid rain, they also cause air pollution which also result in lung infections. People who are mostly affected are those who does not own a car, which is not fair. The whole globe will be affected because of the use of a lot of cars in one nation. Bicycles, trains and air transport may be used instead of those car. This will at least reduce the amount of toxic gases released by cars through combustion process, for example carbon monoxide, to the atmosphere. The benefit will also extend to having clean rain water and clean air to inhale. Some of the alternative ways will actually provide a faster way of traveling for example an aeroplane. Because of availability of these alternative ways to travel, encouragements must be provided to British people on why and how effective it is to use them.
To a greater extent, I agree that alternative forms of transport must be encouraged and international laws must be enforced to control car ownership and use. This may also provide a way of having money to maintain the environment which will be damaged by car users who are not very attentive to the laws.

[Domian]

Looks like an academic task 2. or?

[charsline]

Yes Domian, It is Task 2 of the IELTS academic writing test.

[Domian]

The Task 2 of the academic exam is a closer look worth for me
First of all, the usage of paragraphs looks good.
I counted 352 words according to my MS Word. That's really much and I don't think u have that amount of time to write so many words. I don't know if this big number of words effects the mark neutral or is disadvantageous. I am not sure if the examiner counts the per cent mistakes or he counts the number of mistakes. If the examiner counts the number of mistakes but not the per cent mistakes, it is disadvantageous to write any word over the target number of 250 words!!!
Maybe a question for an examiner. I really would like to know the answer to this question too

I found some small mistakes like: instead of 'good' use 'goods'
and several time usage issues