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Please evaluate my writing task 2.My target is 7+

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 4:42 pm
by prinks056
In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is often argued that girls and boys should get education in separated schools. This essay will firstly, discuss better academic performance as one of the main advantages of this, and secondly, outline lack of social skills as one of the main disadvantages, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

One of the principle advantages of studying in different schools is better academic performance. It is believed that children studying in same sex schools are more focused towards their studies. They are devoid of all teenage distractions like dating the opposite sex. As a result, they perform well academically. For instance, I scored A grade in class XII while studying in girls’ school. However, my sister who studied in a co-education school scored B grade in class XII. Thus, this example clearly shows that students often get good scores in same sex schools.

The main disadvantage associated with same sex schools is lack of social skills. Students, studying in same sex schools often don’t get opportunities to interact with the opposite sex, when they apply for jobs or interviews. For instance, after finishing my school education from girls’ school, I couldn’t clear my first interview as I was hesitant to speak with the interviewer, who was a 42 year old male. Thus, this example clearly shows that students from same sex schools often find it difficult to communicate with the opposite sex.

In conclusion, girls and boys should not get education from different school as they lack social skills to interact with the opposite gender, which is required for getting a job.

Re: Please evaluate my writing task 2.My target is 7+

Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 6:55 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

First main paragraph - Devoid of all teenage distractions - explain.

Second main paragraph - The second sentence doesn't make sense. Had you never spoken to your father or an uncle?

Overall, not bad, but there are are several parts where you need to rethink ideas and/or develop them.

All the best,
David