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bank letter need feedback

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:01 pm
by saran
You received a letter from your bank stating that you will be charged £35 for a banking service you didn’t use. You know this information is incorrect.
Write a letter to the bank. In your letter
• write what the erroneous banking service is
• explain why this is in error
• describe what you would like the bank to do about it
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,





Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter in connection with your letter, which I have received two days ago. Although I was not used the net banking service for this month, in your letter you state that I will be charged 35 euros for this month.
My name is saran and my account number 8877876.since august 27th,I discontinued using of the net bank service. As soon as I stopped using the account, I immediately contacted your customer service. I have been charged still despite I informed them to debar my net banking services. With the help of my reference number 5675656757,if you review your records you will come to know that I have called.
After considering this situation, I demand that you reimburse my money right away .if you have any complication, you can contact me on my mobile number 67867878 or via email sfsfs@gmail.com.i hope you will address this issue soon.
I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest
Yours faithfully,
Saran

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:57 am
by saran
guyssss
please don't view the page and go off....whatever comes in your mind about this letter just post it..thanks

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:11 am
by Raj
Hi Saran,
Try this one might be helpful.

Dear Mr Peter,
I am writing this regarding an overdue notice which I received from your bank. Here, I would like to highlight that there is a mistake on the part of your branch and due to which this account was overdrawn.
In this regard, I would like to mention that last month I requested your branch to cancel a monthly direct debit. This was created two years earlier to pay my monthly rent. As last month my employer accorded me an official flat, subsequently I vacated this rented premises. Before moving out, I gave written instruction to your branch to cancel any future payments. To prove my point I have enclosed acknowledgement obtained from your bank in this regard. However, I am really surprised to receive this notice which stating that my account is overdrawn by 35 euros.
Apparently, your bank have not honoured my instructions and paid this month rent as well, resulting account in debit. To settle this I hereby request you to look at this urgently and stop any further payments. Moreover, please reimburse me for this payment and interest wrongly charged from my account.
Look forward to hear from you.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
Saran

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:19 am
by saran
hi raj,,
thanks a lot man...and i am wondering did u find any mistake in my letter...

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:49 am
by Tina
You received a letter from your bank stating that you will be charged £35 for a banking service you didn’t use. You know this information is incorrect.
Write a letter to the bank. In your letter
• write what the erroneous banking service is
• explain why this is in error
• describe what you would like the bank to do about it
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,





Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing this letter in connection with your letter,( with reference to your letter dated 25 August 2013 and reference number , I would like to say that ............) which I have received two days ago. Although I was not used ( am not using ) the net banking service this month, in your letter ( no need ) the letter states that I will be charged 35 euros for this month.
My name is saran and my account number 8877876. Since august 27th,I am not using net bank service. As soon as I stopped using the account, ( the moment i discontinued the net banking facility) , I immediately contacted your customer service and updated them about my current status . Despite that , I have been charged for the same .. With the help of my reference number 5675656757,if you review your records you will come to know that I have called.( in fact you can confirm in your records and the reference of my telephonic conversation is xyz )
After considering this situation, ( After you confirm , I demand ( request you ) that you reimburse my money right away( very commanding ) .if you have any complication ( its not a health issue so use concern instead of complication ) ( please do not hesitate to contact me ) you can contact me on my mobile number 67867878 or via email sfsfs@gmail.com.i hope you will address ( respond ) this issue ( no need ) soon or looking forward for your response as soon as possible .
I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest
Yours faithfully,
Saran

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:53 am
by saran
hi tina,,,,
thankssssss a lotttttttt

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:56 am
by Tina
Dear Saran , I tried to find some errors in your letter as per your request . Please don't mind and I re- emphasize that I am not good in English too. But at a glance I noticed grammatical mistakes in your letter . Its nice if you reframe the same and post it again . Thanks .

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:59 am
by saran
ok tina i will reframe it...and i will post it....thanks a lot....r u doing academic or general..

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:04 pm
by saran
With the help of my friends Tina and Raj I tried to reframe the letter…thanks a lot guys. Please feel free to comment on my letter



You received a letter from your bank stating that you will be charged £35 for a banking service you didn’t use. You know this information is incorrect.
Write a letter to the bank. In your letter
• write what the erroneous banking service is
• explain why this is in error
• describe what you would like the bank to do about it
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,





Dear Sir/Madam,


I am writing this letter in connection with reference to your letter dated on 25 august 2013. Although I was not using the net banking service for this month, the letter states that I will be charged 35 euros for this month.
My name is saran and my account number is 8877876.since august 27th,I am not using the net bank service. As soon as I discontinued using the net bank account, I immediately contacted your customer services and inform them to debar my net bank account. However, I am surprised to receive a notice that my account is overdrawn by 35 euros. To prove my point with the help of my reference number 5675656757,if you review your records you will perceive this problem.
After you analysing this situation, I kindly request you to reimburse my money which you have taken from my bank account .If you have any concern, you can contact me on my mobile number 67867878 or via email sfsfs@gmail.com.I hope you will address this issue soon.
I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest
Yours faithfully,
Saran

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:17 pm
by Tina
Take care of grammar in standard phrases like

Looking forward for your response at the earliest .

If you have any concern , please do not hesitate to contact me.

The money you have deducted from my account rather than taken .Nobody takes your money , it's is always deducted automatically by computers.

And lot more improvement is still required .

When is your exam ? Yes I am appearing for academic . Don't know , what to do in limited time.

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:19 pm
by saran
hi tina,

october 11 my exam
when is ur exam...

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:09 pm
by saran
thanks a lot to tina,raj and luciano..

improved letter...guys pls review it..

You received a letter from your bank stating that you will be charged £35 for a banking service you didn’t use. You know this information is incorrect.
Write a letter to the bank. In your letter
• write what the erroneous banking service is
• explain why this is in error
• describe what you would like the bank to do about it
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,





Dear Sir/Madam,


I am writing this letter in connection with reference to your letter dated on 25 august 2013. Although I was not using the net banking service for this month, the letter states that I will be charged 35 euros in this period.
My name is saran and my account number is 8877876.since august 27th,I have not been using the net bank service. As soon as I discontinued using the net bank account, I immediately contacted your customer services and informed them to debar my net bank account. However, I am surprised to receive a notice that my account is overdrawn by 35 euros. To prove my point, I acknowledge my telephone conversation reference number 5675656757.
After you finished analysing this situation, I kindly request you to reimburse my money. Furthermore, I would be grateful if you could confirm in writing that the monthly fee will no longer be deducted from my bank account. If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me on my mobile number 67867878 or via email sfsfs@gmail.com.I hope you will address this issue soon.
Looking forward for your response at the earliest.
Yours faithfully,
Saran

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:20 am
by Tina
Re: bank letter need feedback
by saran » Wed Sep 11, 2013 11:09 pm

thanks a lot to tina,raj and luciano..

improved letter...guys pls review it..

You received a letter from your bank stating that you will be charged £35 for a banking service you didn’t use. You know this information is incorrect.
Write a letter to the bank. In your letter
• write what the erroneous banking service is
• explain why this is in error
• describe what you would like the bank to do about it
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ____________________,





Dear Sir/Madam,


With reference to your letter dated 25 august 2013 and reference number xyz , I would like to inform you that I am not using the net banking service since 27 th August and the letter states that I will be charged 35 euros for the current month. I am astonished to receive such letter .

As soon as I discontinued using the net banking service , I immediately contacted your customer care services and informed them to close ( not debar ) my net banking facility . However, I am surprised to receive a notice that money has been drawn from my account for the non usage of services . I am quoting my telephonic reference number i.e 4567 , so that You can confirm my updated status.
After confirmation , I would like you to reimburse 35 euros into my account . THe details of my account is as follows . My account is in HDFC bank and my account number is xyz. Furthermore, It would be nice , if you could confirm in writing that the monthly fee will no longer be deducted from my bank account.

If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me on my mobile number 67867878 or via email sfsfs@gmail.com.

Looking forward for your response at the earliest.

Thanks ,
Saran

I think , you need not to be polite in such letters at the same time not very rude . So don't write please , kindly , faithfully etc . You should be upset with them but of course not rude . The word debar is also not appropriate . You can avoid start that u r writing in connection with etc . You made an improvement , still try again . Actually I don't know the expected pattern in general writing . Sorry for misguidance .

Re: bank letter need feedback

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:25 am
by saran
hi tina,
thank you so much... trying my best