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Appreciate if you can review my task 2 and give feedback.

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 7:05 am
by DJvj
Topic :-
Whether or not someone achieve their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?'

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Nowadays, people have become visionary considering the opportunities around. Some people think that they have a strong destiny which assists them in attaining their goals. However, there are quite a few opponents to this idea. This essay will provide viewpoints in the disagreement of believing just on the sheer of luck.

The main reason is people are defining their goals effectively. Firstly, it helps them to measure them by breaking into granular forms. It may take some time for them to conquer their goals depending on the individual. For instance, In India, a student who wants to study in a premier institute specifically starts his preparation by joining coaching institute at an early age. This not helps them in building their concepts but also gives them enough time to preparation.

Another reason is people are thinking more realistically. Everyone has a role model be it a celebrity or a sportsperson. It makes them more determined and hungry to pursue their goals. For instance, a computer professional who would like to become an entrepreneur always admires personalities like Steve jobs. By following them, it gives them more positivity and understands how they have faced those challenges.
To conclude, I strongly believe one has to be more optimistic and a believer rather than just leaving in the imaginative world. People should have a self-belief and passionate about achieving their aims. Luck surely follows their path who works really hard.

Re: Appreciate if you can review my task 2 and give feedback.

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 12:07 am
by David.IELTS.Examiner
Hello!

I think the basic ideas are good, but they are not very developed. I notice that luck is not mentioned in the main paragraphs!

Not all people try to achieve their ambitions step by step and I'm not sure that all people think realistically - just yesterday I met 3 people who think they will be the next CEO of Microsoft!

Vocabulary and grammatical structures are generally clear, despite some mistakes.

All the best,
David