Some people think that shops should be allowed to sell food and drinks that are scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. Do you agree or disagree?
Many advocate the idea that food and drinks which are scientifically proven to degrade people’s fitness should not be sold publicly. In my opinion, I partly agree with this option because although it can result in several benefits, a number of drawbacks can also stem from this option.
To begin with, this option can indeed lead to various advantages. Firstly, it is universally acknowledged that unhealthy foods, fast food and processed food for instance, are the fundamental cause of a range of severe diseases nowadays. Take fast food as an example. This type of nourishment is rich in fat, salt and oil but essential nutrients are present in negligible amounts, which can lead to serious conditions such as obesity and illnesses such as diabetes. Therefore, if types of food are banned from selling in shops, the consumption of consumers can reduce, thus they may less likely to suffer from some forms of dangerous diseases. Secondly, some drinks are also proven to contain additive substances. These drinks should also not be enabled to sell in shops in order to protect people’s health.
Nevertheless, I believe that not all the outcomes of this decision are good. The most noticeable reason is that unhealthy foods, especially fast food, are usually much more affordable compared with healthy ones. In fact, in some places these types of food are the only option for the poor. Therefore, they may be left starving if they have no access to fast food. Furthermore, shops selling fast food and soft drinks are providing jobs for a multitude of people. As a result, banning these kinds of goods from markets can lead to an increase in the unemployment rate.
In conclusion, I partly agree with the idea of banning unhealthy food and drinks from markets because a part from positive outcomes, there are also negative ones.
PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - UNHEALTHY FOOD
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: PLEASE KINDLY ASSESS MY WRITING TASK 2 - UNHEALTHY FOOD
Hello Hollanda!
I like the first main paragraph - good points, well-developed, very good vocab and grammar.
The second paragraph is based on the very unlikely suggestion that people will starve without fast food. It seems extremely doubtful that people in Western countries, where most unhealthy fast food is eaten, would suddenly starve. It has been shown in the UK that fast food is often more expensive than more traditional food.
The following point about unemployment is equally weak. If people eat less unhealthy fast food, they will likely consume more of other kinds of food, providing jobs.
A rewrite of the second main paragraph is required.
All the best,
David
I like the first main paragraph - good points, well-developed, very good vocab and grammar.
The second paragraph is based on the very unlikely suggestion that people will starve without fast food. It seems extremely doubtful that people in Western countries, where most unhealthy fast food is eaten, would suddenly starve. It has been shown in the UK that fast food is often more expensive than more traditional food.
The following point about unemployment is equally weak. If people eat less unhealthy fast food, they will likely consume more of other kinds of food, providing jobs.
A rewrite of the second main paragraph is required.
All the best,
David