Writing task 1, please help me improve

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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yhjsaber
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Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:13 am

Writing task 1, please help me improve

Post by yhjsaber »

One of your friend has asked you to be his new business partner.
Write a letter to replay to your friend's offer. In your letter
Give your opinions of your friend's business idea
Tell him whether or not you have decided to accept his offer
And explain your reason for this decision

Dear Derrick,
I hope this finds you well. Thanks for giving me time to think about your business proposal. I am writing in response to your offer that invites me to work with you at your game studio.

First, I am glad that I am your first choice as a business partner. I think that your idea about integrating the physical movements of players with that of the characters they play in video games is a fascinating and innovative idea. To be honest, I think it can revolutionize the game industry by providing players with completely new experience.

However, I feel that designing equipment that allows such experience would require expertise from many engineering disciplines. So I am afraid you and I alone would find it extremely difficult to finish this project before the deadline you promised to your clients.

But since it is quite a challenge and as you know, I am a person of hard work and determination. I would be happy to accept your offer. In addition, I would request you permit me to bring in my team to work on this project, as there are many good engineers with different backgrounds in my team. I am sure that they would be as motivated as I am if they saw what we are going to do.
Again, thank you for your offer and I look forward to working on this project with you soon.
Your buddy,
Carlen Yu
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