Academic writing Task 1 review

[DiyaS]

Hello Ryan,

Task1 has a minimum word count of 150. Can you please let me know up to how many words max can we go? Please also evaluate my first attempt at task 1.

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The first graph indicates a steady increase in the percentage of people who own computers. In 2002 about 55% of the population had access to personal computers. But over a span of nine years there is a significant rise. By 2010, there was nearly a 15 percentage point increase in the number of people equipped with computers.

The second graph is an indicative of how the level of education affected computer ownership in the same time frame. It is clear from the graph that, the number of people with computers in 2010 was higher than that in 2002, irrespective of their level of education. However it is interesting to note that as the level of education increased so did the ratio of people who purchased computers. For example in the year 2010, about 90% of the post graduates owned computers. But for high school students and college students it was about 60% and 80% each.

Overall the last decade has seen a substantial increase in computer ownership among people of all educational levels.

[Flick]

The first graph indicates a steady increase in the percentage of people who own computers. In 2002 about 55% of the population had access to personal computers. But over a span of nine years there is a significant rise. By 2010, there was nearly a 15 percentage point increase in the number of people equipped with computers to approximately 80%.

The second graph is an indication of how the level of education affected computer ownership in the same time frame. It is clear from the graph that the number of people with computers in 2010 was higher than that in 2002, irrespective of their level of education. However it is interesting to note that, as the level of education increased, so did the ratio of people who purchased computers. For example, in the year 2010, about 90% of post graduates owned computers. But for high school students and college students it was about 60% and 80% respectively.

Overall, the last decade has seen a substantial increase in computer ownership among people of all educational levels.