Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Advertisement is one of the major industries in any country. Revenue generated through advertisement is enormous and it boosts country's economy. Many people do complain that advertising woos us to buy things that we really do not need. Another section of people encourage advertisements as it brings awareness about new products that may improve our lives.
Sellers have to advertise to sell their products so that consumers are aware of the products introduced in the market. There are various channels through which advertisement can be done such as flyers, billboards, TV, Magazines, etc. It is true advertisements attract us to buy. However, consumer has to think twice before making a decision to buy a product
In many instances, after watching the advertisement, I was tempted to buy face creams. But took a few minutes to dwell deep into the intentions of seller and I did not fall prey to their gimmicks. At the same point in time, I relied heavily on advertisements to enroll my children in computer coding classes and other extra curricular activities such as badminton, Keyboard and Vocal music. Also, i did advertise my work over the internet, which helped me to generate some additional income without making any investment.
As such it can be concluded that I strongly agree that advertisements help consumers to be aware of various products to make wise choices when needed. Advertisement is must and hereto stay. Consumer should be aware and beware of the choices he or she makes based on their needs.
Please Evaluate Writing Task 2
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Re: Please Evaluate Writing Task 2
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Thanks for your submission kanchanjunga!! Please see my rewrite below ...
AdvertisING IS one of the major industries in any country AND THE revenue generated through advertisementS is enormous and (delete 'it') boosts A country's economy. HOWEVER, many people do complain that advertising CONVINCES us to buy things that we really do not need. Another section of SOCIETY encourageS ADVERTISING as it brings awareness about new products that may improve our lives.
FIRSTLY, sellers have to advertise to sell their products so that consumers are aware of the products introduced in the market. There are various channels through which ADVERTISING can be done such as flyers, billboards, TV, AND magazines. (delete ', etc.') It is true THAT advertisements attract us to buy. However, THE consumer has to think twice before making a decision to buy a product
In many instances, after watching the advertisement, I was tempted to buy face creams, but took a few minutes to dwell deep into the intentions of THE seller and I did not fall prey to their gimmicks. At the same point in time, I relied heavily on advertisements to enroll my children in computer coding classes and other extra curricular activities such as badminton, keyboard and vocal music. Also, I did advertise my work over the internet, which helped me to generate some additional income without making any investment.
IN CONCLUSION, (delete 'it can be concluded that') I strongly agree that advertisements help consumers to be aware of various products to make wise choices when needed. ADVERTISING is A must and IS here to stay. AS SUCH, consumerS should be aware OF, and beware of the choices he or she makes based on their needs.
Pretty good! Put more focus on the structure of your body paragraphs. They feel a little unplanned. Check the YouTube links above for help with this.
Advice:
1. Add linking phrases whenever you can, for example at the beginning of body paragraphs and between sentences.
2. Only use capital letter when they are necessay - 'keyboard' and 'vocal music' will not be capitalised.
3. The tone in the second body paragraph slips into informal English a little. Try to keep the tone formal throughout the whole essay.
Band-score:
TA: 6.0
G: 6.0
V: 6.0
CC: 5.5
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - Task 2 Academic - "CRITICAL THINKING FOR BODY PARAGRAPHS" : https://youtu.be/ZYzXxG8lTTk
Thanks for your submission kanchanjunga!! Please see my rewrite below ...
AdvertisING IS one of the major industries in any country AND THE revenue generated through advertisementS is enormous and (delete 'it') boosts A country's economy. HOWEVER, many people do complain that advertising CONVINCES us to buy things that we really do not need. Another section of SOCIETY encourageS ADVERTISING as it brings awareness about new products that may improve our lives.
FIRSTLY, sellers have to advertise to sell their products so that consumers are aware of the products introduced in the market. There are various channels through which ADVERTISING can be done such as flyers, billboards, TV, AND magazines. (delete ', etc.') It is true THAT advertisements attract us to buy. However, THE consumer has to think twice before making a decision to buy a product
In many instances, after watching the advertisement, I was tempted to buy face creams, but took a few minutes to dwell deep into the intentions of THE seller and I did not fall prey to their gimmicks. At the same point in time, I relied heavily on advertisements to enroll my children in computer coding classes and other extra curricular activities such as badminton, keyboard and vocal music. Also, I did advertise my work over the internet, which helped me to generate some additional income without making any investment.
IN CONCLUSION, (delete 'it can be concluded that') I strongly agree that advertisements help consumers to be aware of various products to make wise choices when needed. ADVERTISING is A must and IS here to stay. AS SUCH, consumerS should be aware OF, and beware of the choices he or she makes based on their needs.
Pretty good! Put more focus on the structure of your body paragraphs. They feel a little unplanned. Check the YouTube links above for help with this. Advice:
1. Add linking phrases whenever you can, for example at the beginning of body paragraphs and between sentences.
2. Only use capital letter when they are necessay - 'keyboard' and 'vocal music' will not be capitalised.
3. The tone in the second body paragraph slips into informal English a little. Try to keep the tone formal throughout the whole essay.
Band-score:
TA: 6.0
G: 6.0
V: 6.0
CC: 5.5
