Below are my attempts for both writing general task 1&2. I tried to limit my time while writing so I do not think they are very good, a bit messy, especially task 2. I hope you would spare some time to evaluate them. Any feedback would be treasure to me. Thank you so much for your time.
Writing task 1
You recently broke your leg and your colleagues visited with 'get well soon' cards and presents. Write a letter to:
1. Thank them
2. Describe how you have been spending your time while recovering
3. Tell some other information about your recovery
Dear everyone,
I would like to thank every single one of you for all your supports through all the cards and presents as they mean the world to me during this difficult and unexpected time. I have received and read them all and I could not be further grateful to know that everyone has always got my back.
Fortunately this time period has given me the chance, which I did not get before due to work, to spend time on some readings and paintings as I always have desired to do. These hobbies give me such a soothing and relaxing feeling and honestly help me use my time more productively during recovery.
Good news is that I am currently attending physiotherapy five days a week as I have started to be able to walk a few steps now. I am feeling much better now both physically and mentally thanks to all supports and helps from all the staffs, families, and you guys as well. I will soon be able to discharge once I pass my rehabilitation test in the next two months hopefully, which I will keep you guys updated.
I miss everyone a lot and I am so looking forward to seeing all of you again soon. I hope you guys are all doing well and please take care.
Yours sincerely,
Elty Linyi.
Word count: 220
Task 2: Many people believe that family members are very important in life while others say friends are important.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement
Essay:
It has been a debate among people whether family members or friends who play a more essential part in our lives. In my opinion, both families and friends are indispensable contributors to the development of everyone's life for various reasons explained below.
It is undeniable that home is considered widely as where family is. Family is a vital part and engraved in everyone's childhood as those who raise, teach, and guide us through lessons and advice. They are those who we can count on, always have our back, support us both physically and mentally through up and down of life, and whose shoulders are where we can cry on. Thus, it is believed that family members have a huge impact on our characteristics and personal development especially during childhood period as children are likely to learn from and reflect their parents or other members' personalities.
However, conflicts might occur due to the age gap or generation gap among family members, and this is when friends step in to fill in the gap. Friends play a significantly important role in everyone's adulthood. As we start to enter schools, families might not always be there, but friends are present during most of our learning period. Friends can be classmates, teachers, tutors, or anyone else who will learn, experience, discover, and teach us brand new things in life. They can also be reliable partners for us to vent out inner feelings, ask for advice and help in some situations. Despite the fact that not all friends coming into our lives will always be there and stay with us like families, but bosom friends are irreplaceable pieces to complete our life puzzle.
In conclusion, family members and friends share an equally important part in everybody's life journey. Both subjects are absolute treasures that all of us must always value and be grateful to have in life.
Word count: 311
Writing general task 1 and 2
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goldcoastielts
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Re: Writing general task 1 and 2
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YouTube - "Task 1 General - "FORMALITY" : https://youtu.be/BsATzBqq03o
Thanks for your submission Linyi!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Dear everyone,
I would like to thank every single one of you for all your SUPPORT AND the cards and presents YOU SENT as they mean the world to me during this difficult and unexpected time. I have received and read them all and I could not be ANY MORE grateful THAN I AM NOW KNOWING that YOU HAVE ALL got my back.
Fortunately this (delete 'time') period has given me the chance, which I did not get before due to work, to spend time TO SPEND MORE TIME READING and PAINTING as I HAVE always desired to do. These hobbies give me such a soothing and relaxing feeling and honestly help me use my time more productively during recovery.
Good news is that I am currently attending physiotherapy five days a week AND I have started to be able to walk a few steps now. I am feeling much better now both physically and mentally thanks to all SUPPORT and helps from all the STAFF, MY FAMILY, and you guys as well. HOPEFULLY, I will soon be able to BE dischargeD once I pass my rehabilitation test in the next two months (delete 'hopefully'), AND I will keep you guys updated.
I miss everyone a lot and I am so looking forward to seeing all of you again soon. I hope you guys are all doing well and please take care.
Yours sincerely,
Elty Linyi.
Advice:
1.Be careful because 'support' and 'staff' are uncountable nouns.
2. The only other advice is perhaps lower the formality level with this a little. You probably know these people very well, and although they might not be 'friends', you could still use an informal tone when addressing them. Check the YouTube video above!
Band-score:
TA: 7.0
G: 6.5
V: 7.0
CC: 7.0
It has LONG been debateD among people whether family members or friends (delete 'who') play a more essential part in our lives. In my opinion, both families and friends are indispensable contributors to the development of (delete 'everyone's life') ALL OUR LIVES for various reasons explained below.
It is undeniable that home is WIDELY considered TO BE where family is. Family is a vital part OF OUR LIVES and engraved ON everyone's childhood as those who raise, teach, and guide us through lessons and advice. They are THE ONES THAT we can count on, WHO always have our back, WHO support us both physically and mentally through THE upS and downS of life, and (delete 'whose shoulders are where we can cry on') THE ONES ON WHOSE SHOULDERS WE CAN CRY. Thus, it is believed that family members have a huge impact on our characteristics and personal development, (add comma) especially during THE childhood period, (add comma) as children are likely to learn from and reflect ON their parents or other members' personalities.
However, conflicts might occur due to (DELETE 'the') age gapS or generationAL gapS among family members, and this is when friends step in to fill (delete 'in') the gap. Friends play a significantly important role in everyone's adulthood. As we start to enter schools, families might not always be there, but friends are present during most of our learning period. Friends can be classmates, teachers, tutors, or anyone else who will HELP US learn, experience, AND discover, (delete 'and teach us') brand new things in life. They can also be reliable partners for us to vent OUR inner feelings, ask for advice and help in some situations. Despite the fact that not all friends coming into our lives will always be there and stay with us like families, (delete 'but') bosom friends are irreplaceable pieces (delete 'to complete our life puzzle') IN THE PUZZLE OF OUR LIFE.
In conclusion, family members and friends share an equally important part in everybody's life journey. Both subjects are absolute treasures that all of us must always value and be grateful (delete 'to have in life') FOR IN OUR LIVES.
Thanks for your submissions. Both were very nice. Structures were well designed. Try to watch little grammar errors.
Advice:
1. Some of the sentence-final constructions were a little strange i.e. 'to complete our life puzzle', 'to have in our life', or 'whose shoulders are where we can cry on'. Be careful about these constructions.
2. Also a few times you added adverbs after the main verb. Try to put the adverb before the main verb i.e. 'widely considered'
Band-score:
TA: 7.5
G: 7.0
V: 7.5
CC: 6.5
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - "Task 1 General - "FORMALITY" : https://youtu.be/BsATzBqq03o
Thanks for your submission Linyi!! Please see my rewrite below ...
Dear everyone,
I would like to thank every single one of you for all your SUPPORT AND the cards and presents YOU SENT as they mean the world to me during this difficult and unexpected time. I have received and read them all and I could not be ANY MORE grateful THAN I AM NOW KNOWING that YOU HAVE ALL got my back.
Fortunately this (delete 'time') period has given me the chance, which I did not get before due to work, to spend time TO SPEND MORE TIME READING and PAINTING as I HAVE always desired to do. These hobbies give me such a soothing and relaxing feeling and honestly help me use my time more productively during recovery.
Good news is that I am currently attending physiotherapy five days a week AND I have started to be able to walk a few steps now. I am feeling much better now both physically and mentally thanks to all SUPPORT and helps from all the STAFF, MY FAMILY, and you guys as well. HOPEFULLY, I will soon be able to BE dischargeD once I pass my rehabilitation test in the next two months (delete 'hopefully'), AND I will keep you guys updated.
I miss everyone a lot and I am so looking forward to seeing all of you again soon. I hope you guys are all doing well and please take care.
Yours sincerely,
Elty Linyi.
Advice:
1.Be careful because 'support' and 'staff' are uncountable nouns.
2. The only other advice is perhaps lower the formality level with this a little. You probably know these people very well, and although they might not be 'friends', you could still use an informal tone when addressing them. Check the YouTube video above!
Band-score:
TA: 7.0
G: 6.5
V: 7.0
CC: 7.0
It has LONG been debateD among people whether family members or friends (delete 'who') play a more essential part in our lives. In my opinion, both families and friends are indispensable contributors to the development of (delete 'everyone's life') ALL OUR LIVES for various reasons explained below.
It is undeniable that home is WIDELY considered TO BE where family is. Family is a vital part OF OUR LIVES and engraved ON everyone's childhood as those who raise, teach, and guide us through lessons and advice. They are THE ONES THAT we can count on, WHO always have our back, WHO support us both physically and mentally through THE upS and downS of life, and (delete 'whose shoulders are where we can cry on') THE ONES ON WHOSE SHOULDERS WE CAN CRY. Thus, it is believed that family members have a huge impact on our characteristics and personal development, (add comma) especially during THE childhood period, (add comma) as children are likely to learn from and reflect ON their parents or other members' personalities.
However, conflicts might occur due to (DELETE 'the') age gapS or generationAL gapS among family members, and this is when friends step in to fill (delete 'in') the gap. Friends play a significantly important role in everyone's adulthood. As we start to enter schools, families might not always be there, but friends are present during most of our learning period. Friends can be classmates, teachers, tutors, or anyone else who will HELP US learn, experience, AND discover, (delete 'and teach us') brand new things in life. They can also be reliable partners for us to vent OUR inner feelings, ask for advice and help in some situations. Despite the fact that not all friends coming into our lives will always be there and stay with us like families, (delete 'but') bosom friends are irreplaceable pieces (delete 'to complete our life puzzle') IN THE PUZZLE OF OUR LIFE.
In conclusion, family members and friends share an equally important part in everybody's life journey. Both subjects are absolute treasures that all of us must always value and be grateful (delete 'to have in life') FOR IN OUR LIVES.
Thanks for your submissions. Both were very nice. Structures were well designed. Try to watch little grammar errors. Advice:
1. Some of the sentence-final constructions were a little strange i.e. 'to complete our life puzzle', 'to have in our life', or 'whose shoulders are where we can cry on'. Be careful about these constructions.
2. Also a few times you added adverbs after the main verb. Try to put the adverb before the main verb i.e. 'widely considered'
Band-score:
TA: 7.5
G: 7.0
V: 7.5
CC: 6.5
