Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others there are disadvantages to this.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is true that marketing through sports is very common nowadays. In my opinion, there are some drawbacks to this practice but those are negligible as compared to their benefits.
On the one hand, there are many benefits when national and international organizations endorse sports. Firstly, many times we see that a government unable to support all the sports. Unfortunately, when players do not get any money for their diet and equipment; they are more likely chosen not to continue their careers in a game. However, when international brands corporations come forward and support the game financially and some other ways; a sportsperson gets a healthy diet and new versions of the accessories. Obviously, companies give them their own brand equipment’s not only to play a game but also to advertise them. As a result, players get what they need to succeed in a match and organizations also get successful in promotes their products.
On the other hand, there are obviously some drawbacks to every trend. The most concerning disadvantage of supporting a sport by these well-known companies is dependency. When a team in any sports gets everything without any hard work they get dependent on the endorsing organizations; hence, they don’t try hard to win a match. For instance, there are some IPL Teams that are only in the game to publicize their promoters. Therefore, players not showing their any team spirit and real-match skills to defeat their opponents.
In conclusion, promoting sports is a good idea to advertise products by companies, but there are a few demerits of this practice.
Hi All, Please check my essay as i'm sitting for an exam soon Thanks
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Re: Hi All, Please check my essay as i'm sitting for an exam soon Thanks
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Thanks for your submission jaggi7921!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
It is true that IT IS A COMMON PRACTICE FOR MANY COMPANIES MARKET THEIR PRODUCTS AT sports EVENTS nowadays. In my opinion, there are some drawbacks to this practice but those are negligible WHEN compared to THE MUCH BIGGER benefits.
B1:
On the one hand, there are many benefits when national and international organizations endorse sports (GOOD
). Firstly, A LOT OF THE time we see that governmentS ARE unable to support all sports. Unfortunately, when players do not get any FINANCIAL SUPPORT for their diet and equipment, they are more likely TO CHOOSE not to continue their SPORTING careers. However, when international brand AND corporations come forward and support the game financially and IN some other ways, a sportsperson CAN MAINTAIN a healthy diet and WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO AFFORD new versions of THE SPORTING EQUIPMENT THAT THEY NEED TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE AT A HIGH LEVEL. Obviously, companies give FAMOUS SPORT PEOPLE EQUIPMENT FROM their own brand not only to USE IN gameS, but also FOR advertisING PURPOSES. As a result, players get what they need to succeed in a match and organizations also get TO successfulLY promotes their products.
B2:
On the other hand, there are obviously some drawbacks to THIS trend. The most concerning disadvantage IS THAT WHEN COMPANIES SUPORT SPORTS PEOPLE, THIS CREATES A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON dependency. SPEAKING SPECIFICALLY, when a team in any sports gets everything without any hard work they get dependent on the endorsing organizations; ONE NEGATIVE RESULT OF THIS IS THAT they MIGHT try hard to win a match. For instance, there are some IPL Teams that are only in the game to publicize their promoters. Therefore, THESE players MIGHT not show any team spirit and real-match skills to defeat their opponents.
CONC:
In conclusion, promoting sports is a good idea to advertise products by companies, but there are a few demerits TO this practice.
(262 words)
Advice:
1. Be careful about number. In paragraph one, there are MANY GOVERNMENTS, not only one, that that cannot support sport.
2. Be very careful about how you use the semi-colon. In B1 it is used twice, in B2 it is used once. This could feel like overuse. In the first and second cases, a comma is more appropriate. In the third case, the semi-colon is used with a linking word. You have to choose the linking word, or the semi-colon, not both.
3. The conclusion is definitely too short. Another sentence would be nice, using some linking language and restating the main ideas. "In conclusion, this essay has described why ... "
TA: 6.0
G: 6.5
V: 6.5
CC: 5.5
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - "TASK 2 BODY LINKING LANGUAGE" : https://youtu.be/slnYl_2WXjw
Thanks for your submission jaggi7921!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
It is true that IT IS A COMMON PRACTICE FOR MANY COMPANIES MARKET THEIR PRODUCTS AT sports EVENTS nowadays. In my opinion, there are some drawbacks to this practice but those are negligible WHEN compared to THE MUCH BIGGER benefits.
B1:
On the one hand, there are many benefits when national and international organizations endorse sports (GOOD
). Firstly, A LOT OF THE time we see that governmentS ARE unable to support all sports. Unfortunately, when players do not get any FINANCIAL SUPPORT for their diet and equipment, they are more likely TO CHOOSE not to continue their SPORTING careers. However, when international brand AND corporations come forward and support the game financially and IN some other ways, a sportsperson CAN MAINTAIN a healthy diet and WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO AFFORD new versions of THE SPORTING EQUIPMENT THAT THEY NEED TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE AT A HIGH LEVEL. Obviously, companies give FAMOUS SPORT PEOPLE EQUIPMENT FROM their own brand not only to USE IN gameS, but also FOR advertisING PURPOSES. As a result, players get what they need to succeed in a match and organizations also get TO successfulLY promotes their products.B2:
On the other hand, there are obviously some drawbacks to THIS trend. The most concerning disadvantage IS THAT WHEN COMPANIES SUPORT SPORTS PEOPLE, THIS CREATES A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON dependency. SPEAKING SPECIFICALLY, when a team in any sports gets everything without any hard work they get dependent on the endorsing organizations; ONE NEGATIVE RESULT OF THIS IS THAT they MIGHT try hard to win a match. For instance, there are some IPL Teams that are only in the game to publicize their promoters. Therefore, THESE players MIGHT not show any team spirit and real-match skills to defeat their opponents.
CONC:
In conclusion, promoting sports is a good idea to advertise products by companies, but there are a few demerits TO this practice.
(262 words)
Advice:
1. Be careful about number. In paragraph one, there are MANY GOVERNMENTS, not only one, that that cannot support sport.
2. Be very careful about how you use the semi-colon. In B1 it is used twice, in B2 it is used once. This could feel like overuse. In the first and second cases, a comma is more appropriate. In the third case, the semi-colon is used with a linking word. You have to choose the linking word, or the semi-colon, not both.
3. The conclusion is definitely too short. Another sentence would be nice, using some linking language and restating the main ideas. "In conclusion, this essay has described why ... "
TA: 6.0
G: 6.5
V: 6.5
CC: 5.5
