Traffic.(plz evaluate me and band me)

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Alizaeri
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 6:56 am

Traffic.(plz evaluate me and band me)

Post by Alizaeri »

In the 20th century traffic congestions have become a problem of the firs order. There is a tendency to believe that , in order to rectify this practical problem people should be fostered to live in cities as appose to countryside. From a personal perspective, this strategy does not improve the commuting challenge. It will be proven by looking at the alternatives of introducing a congestion charge and restricting the arrival of motor vehicle city centers are much better approach. It will be analaysed for viability in this essay.
For one, the benefits of establishment a congestion charge are numerous. Take the China as an example, government have solved the traffic problem specially in central parts of the city by legislating a new law in this case. As this example shows, encouraging invasion of tremendous number of people to live in city can disrupt the quality of transportation system as well as flourish traffic congestion. Thus, the effectiveness and merit of this plausible alternative solution is clear.
In addition to this, there is an abundance of evidence that this position is further exemplified looking at how banning the entrance of cars to city centers can play a vital important role to overcome traffic and transportation problem. For instance, while living in Japan in 2012, government encouraged people to live in cities instead of suburb area in an attempt to solve traffic congestion, but the potential problem of this strategy did greatly outweigh the possible effect. It is one of the main reason, if government had banned the entrance of cars to crowded parts of the city, both city dwellers and visitors of metropolis would have had less cramped street. Thus, the feasibility of this alternative suggestion in an effort to curb the traffic problem is clear.
Therefore, following the above analysation it can be concluded both introducing congestion charge and restricting the access of cars to city centers would be more effective than encouraging citizens to live in cities. I thus hope this phenomenon gain support and put into practice in all countries in the forseeable future.
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ted_ielts
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Re: Traffic.(plz evaluate me and band me)

Post by ted_ielts »

"congestion" is uncountable, and therefore you would say "traffic congestion has become..."
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Rahebb
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:06 pm

Re: Traffic.(plz evaluate me and band me)

Post by Rahebb »

We don't use an article before the name of a country Take the China as an example.
"as well as flourish traffic congestion" should be "as well as flourishing... (use a gerund).

"suburban area" not "suburb area"
"It is one of the main reason" should be "It is one of the main reasons"

"analysation" should be changed to "analysis"
"I thus hope this phenomenon gain support" should be "I thus hope this phenomenon will gain support"

Overall, the writer has made a great attempt to use a wide range of vocabulary and collocations.

It is not certain whether or not the writer was successful in finishing this piece within the 40-minute time limit. However, this essay qualifies for a band score between 7 to 8.

We may wish to keep in contact with me on Skype @fhorizen.
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