Please review my writing
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 4:55 pm
Hello Members,
I took IELTS last year and scored 7.0 in writing. I am applying for Australian Immigration. For this purpose, I have already send my EOI but there's a very low chance of getting ITA with my current scores (Overall 8.0 , 7 above in each module). My next target is to score 8 in writing and speaking.
Kindly Review my essay and point out the short-comings. Also if you can mention the time required for the improvements as I am thinking to take IELTS again on either 19th August or 09th September.
Thanks in anticipation.
Regards,
Nowadays, scientists are constantly trying to figure out alternate ways to meet or energy demands. Sometimes those development are negative, while other times positive. It is argued that alternative means of energy is a positive development. This is because they can provide environmental friendly and cheap ways to satisfy our domestic and commercial energy needs.
Firstly, alternative of fossil fuels can mitigate the harmful aspects of global warming.To illustrate, the detrimental effects of global warming are exacerbated by excessive carbon emissions, which is the direct result of burning fossil fuel. This clearly shows that using a substitute can reduce global warming, consequently making the environment much cleaner. Therefore, it is a positive development for us.
Secondly, using alternative form of energy can be quite economical. For example, there is no operational cost of getting energy from solar panels or wind turbines. Most of these sources can only incur a small maintenance cost. Thus, adopting these alternative means of energy can save us money and provide us with inexpensive energy which is a beneficial development.
To sum up, this unusual sources of energy would have a greatly positive effect on us because they are not only safe for the environment but also very inexpensive. It is expected, new research in this area of alternative energy will yield even more benefits.
I took IELTS last year and scored 7.0 in writing. I am applying for Australian Immigration. For this purpose, I have already send my EOI but there's a very low chance of getting ITA with my current scores (Overall 8.0 , 7 above in each module). My next target is to score 8 in writing and speaking.
Kindly Review my essay and point out the short-comings. Also if you can mention the time required for the improvements as I am thinking to take IELTS again on either 19th August or 09th September.
Thanks in anticipation.
Regards,
Code: Select all
Alternative to fossil fuel. To What extent is a positive or a negative development Firstly, alternative of fossil fuels can mitigate the harmful aspects of global warming.To illustrate, the detrimental effects of global warming are exacerbated by excessive carbon emissions, which is the direct result of burning fossil fuel. This clearly shows that using a substitute can reduce global warming, consequently making the environment much cleaner. Therefore, it is a positive development for us.
Secondly, using alternative form of energy can be quite economical. For example, there is no operational cost of getting energy from solar panels or wind turbines. Most of these sources can only incur a small maintenance cost. Thus, adopting these alternative means of energy can save us money and provide us with inexpensive energy which is a beneficial development.
To sum up, this unusual sources of energy would have a greatly positive effect on us because they are not only safe for the environment but also very inexpensive. It is expected, new research in this area of alternative energy will yield even more benefits.