Topic of corporal punishment

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yhjsaber
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:13 am

Topic of corporal punishment

Post by yhjsaber »

Some people say that children should be disciplined in their early age, and punishment should be used. To some extent do you agree? What kind of punishment can be used by teachers and parents?

People hold different views as to whether or not punishment is an effective way to cultivate a well-behaved younger generation. Although there are some arguments against physically disciplining children, I would argue that appropriate corporal penalty is what it requires for the education of responsible teenagers.

Opponents of this may claim that physical punishment may have negative effects on adolescents’ psychological development. Many children would find it difficult and unwilling to withstand the suffering from being forced to run a long distance or stand for a couple of hours. As a result, they may develop a feeling of hatred towards their teachers or parents, which provokes them to behave even more unduly. As people are concerning that these misfits would bring the sense of dissatisfaction with their elders into their adulthood, which consequently affects future generations, it is proposed that any form of physical punishments should be restricted or even prohibited.

However, I would argue that bitterness deriving from certain means of physical disciplines is what it is needed to prevent some misbehaved children from relapsing. For example, a teenager committing shop lifting or hurting others must be educated with material penalties which allow them to experience what it feels like to be bereft of precious items and being harmed by other people. With such a direct and efficient method of education, these malicious children will quickly learn from their mistakes and they would avoid engaging the similar behaviours again. Besides, corporal punishments such as running and standing can not only make children reflect on the consequences of their action, but also help them to improve their physic tone. As seen above, these bodily penalties can be very effective in terms of helping young individuals develop a sense of responsibility for their actions.

In conclusion, employing physical punishment to educate children in their early age can efficiently push them to the right path as well as strengthening their physique and consciousness of responsibility. Therefore, I am convinced that utilising reasonable corporal disciplines can do more good than harm to a child.
allen_zhang
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:41 am

Re: Topic of corporal punishment

Post by allen_zhang »

HI yhjsaber,
Again, I want to explain first that you have a higher level than me and I enjoyed reading your essays and learned a lot from them.
Having said that, I still want to disscuss a little with this essay and you can judge my comments according to your own understanding.

From logical perspective:
1. It's quite interesting that you choose to support corporal punishment, which I believe not many will do.
2. However, the second argument sounds not so convincing to me: why should we choose punishment to improve chilren's phsical condition?

From grammatic perspective:
1. I would argue that appropriate corporal penalty is what it requires[/color](should it be :"is required"?) for the education of responsible teenagers.

2. Many children would find it difficult and unwilling to withstand the suffering from being forced to run a long distance or stand for a couple of hours.
I think that "difficult" and "unwilling" belong different subjects: it --> difficult. children-->unwilling.

3. I would argue that bitterness deriving from certain means of physical disciplines is what it(should this "it" be removed?) is needed to prevent some misbehaved

4. avoid engaging the (I would remove "the")similar behaviours again.

I didn't carefully check all sentences. Above is several points I found.

Generally, this essay is not so convincing to me.
#1 2013-09-07 L7.5; R8; S6; W6
#2 2014-03-08 L7.5; R7; S7; W5.5
#3 2014-05-10 L7.5; R8; S6.5; W6
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S5.5; W7
#4 2014-06-21 L7.5; R6.5; S7; W5.5
yhjsaber
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:13 am

Re: Topic of corporal punishment

Post by yhjsaber »

Thanks for you comments. It was bit hard for me to approach this topic from a different standpoint. I also think most people would choose to avoid using corporal punishments. However, if I were to be creative by illustrating another point of view, I would probably gain more experience with two-way writing. Anyway, I will spend more time on making it more convincing, given that I was a bit rush writing this essay (24 minutes writing and 10 minutes typying).
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