letter anyone?

[durai]

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask you manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
 Explain why you want to take time off
 Give details of the amount of time you need
 Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
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Dear Mr.Moore,

I am writing to request you one week off from 1st April to 6th April. Please let me explain in detail.

My parents have arranged my sister’s marriage on 3rd April 2014 in my country. Since then my sister has been requesting me to come for her wedding because we brought up together, and I am her only brother. So I intend to travel overseas on 1st April, and probably back in a week.

As a computer programmer, I would finish my targets before I leave. In case of emergency, my colleague Asha may look after my work, and she is very good in handling our clients. If possible, I leave my overseas contact number as well.

As you know, I already took my annual leave completely, so I hardly left any holiday hours. Can you please let me go on unpaid leave?

Please write me as quickly as possible.

Yours sincerely,

Durai

[allen_zhang]

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask you manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
 Explain why you want to take time off
 Give details of the amount of time you need
 Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr.Moore,

I am writing to request you (I would remove "you")one week off from 1st April to 6th April. Please let me explain in detail. (this sounds not natural, I would just remove this sentence.)

My parents have arranged my sister’s marriage(I would use wedding ceremony) on 3rd April 2014 in my country. Since then(since when?) my sister has been requesting me to come for her wedding because we brought(grew or were brought) up together, and I am her only brother. So I intend to travel overseas(I would use "I decided to go back to India") on 1st April, and probably back in a week.(You just asked 6 days leaving, and you are not sure if you can get back in one week? if I were your boss, I would not approve your request...)

As a computer programmer,(I guess that your boss know your are a programmer) I would(you should be sure on this, so "will" is better) finish my targets (I would use "tasks" or "assignment" or "work commitments")before I leave. In case of emergency, my colleague Asha may(sounds not certain, I would use "will") look after my work(I would use: "take over my responsibilities"), and (this "and" is not good)she is very good in handling our clients. If possible, I leave my overseas contact number as well.

As you know, I already took my annual leave completely(I have used up all my annual paid leaving day), so I hardly( if you already used all yur paid leaving days, "did not" is better than "hardly" here.) left any holiday hours. Can you please let me go on (I would add "a")unpaid leave?

Please write me as quickly as possible.(not polite enough, you are asking for a favor..)

Yours sincerely,

Durai

Durai, I am sorry to say that I feel this letter is not as good as your other essays.

[allen_zhang]

Please check my version.

Dear Mr. Moore,
I am writing to request a one week unpaid leave next month.

My sister is going to have her wedding ceremony on April 3rd in India. She has been begging me to attend her wedding for months. Since I am her only brother, it is my obligation to be there and witness this important time in her life.

To participate in this special occasion, I would need to be away from work for 5 days, from Monday 1st to Friday 5th. My schedule for that week is relatively light, apart from some possible field issues from our client Samsung. Asha will take over my responsibilities for this case and I have explained to him about all the details on this project. I believe he will be able to cover for me in my absence. I do not have other urgent work commitments at that time.

I would be very grateful if you could allow me this time. These few days are very important for me and my family.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,
Durai

[durai]

Hi Allen,

I really like your letter,

I didn't pick any grammar mistake and wordings good enough for the task.

sounds more than band 7, could be 8.



thanks for your comments.

[yhjsaber]

Hi allen,
Your letter looks very similar to one of the model answers in IELTS books. I am wondering if we are allowed to do the same in the real exam.

[allen_zhang]

hyjasber,
You are totally right. I used some setences I learned from an model answer.

However, in the main body, I used my own story:
the reason : I changed it to sister's wedding.
the sloution to cover my absence has also been changed.

I think it is ok to do so....