closeness task 2 anyone?

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
durai
Posts: 401
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 6:35 pm

closeness task 2 anyone?

Post by durai »

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together ?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


In the last decade, the closeness among different families has significantly decreased the world over. While some opine that this is due to current global economic scenario, others think that change in the attitude of people is the main cause. This essay is an attempt to examine the causes of such separation, and suggest suitable ways to bring closer.

One of the main causes that present families are not close as before because there is insufficient time to catch up each other. Since aggressive materialism and global competition are realities, both parents have to work full-time that end up in having less leisure time. This inadequate time is meagre not only for interaction but also to understand different families. For example, in India, full-time employees work long hours that end up in having little to no time being spent even to look after their children. In such busy schedule they find hard to mix up with other families, thereby reduce the intimacy among them.

However, there are linear solutions available for such causes, and reducing working hours is one of them because this acts as a precursor for having sufficient time to mix up. Side by side, it is better if working week is lessened for every individual for the growing unemployment rate. The possible illustration is that in China people usually work 6 days a week, and if these are reduced to 4 days, then it excessively increases the employment opportunities. Besides, individuals find themselves more time to make effective communication. As a result, the intimacy among families in the society would probably grow up.

At the end of the day, family relationship is important for any country. So the public authority should identify all causes for the reduction in closeness. Then, it must implement appropriate strategies to increase the closeness among citizens.
JAN 2014 L 8.5 R 8 W 6.5 S 6.5
FEB 2014 L 8 R 8 W 7 S 6.5
APR 2014 L 8 R 9 W 6.5 S 7
JUN 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6
July 2014 L 8.5 R 7 W 6.5 S 6.5
OCT 2014 L 7.5 R 7 W 7 S 7
kyisama
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:23 pm

Re: closeness task 2 anyone?

Post by kyisama »

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be?. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. ?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


In the last decade, the closeness among different families has significantly decreased the world over. (<--This sentence could be made clearer by saying, "...different families have significantly decreased all over the world.) While some opine that this is due to current global economic scenario, others think that change in the attitude of people is the main cause. This essay is an attempt to examine the causes of such separation, and suggest suitable ways to bring closer. (<--Was it really necessary to state what the essay is about in such blunt terms?)

One of the main causes that present (Use "today's instead of "present" because you are speaking of the here and now and it clarifies that point.) families are not close as before because there is insufficient time to catch up with each other. Since aggressive materialism and global competition are realities, both parents have to work full-time that end up in having less leisure time (<--Your wording is jumbled up here as well. Are you looking to say that parents who work full-time end up having less leisure time? You don't have to be too wordy because it will end up confusing your reader if you're not straight to the point by being clear and concise.). This inadequate time is meagre meager not only for interaction but also to understand different families. For example, in India, full-time employees work long hours that end up in having little to no time being spent even to look (<-- Use "looking after their children" and omit "being spent even to look".) after their children. In (Omit and use "With") such busy schedules they find it hard to mix up with other families; thereby, reducing the intimacy among them.

However, there are linear solutions available for such causes, and reducing working hours is one of them because this acts as a precursor for having sufficient time to mix things up. Side by side,(<--This is not needed to get your point across) it is better if the working week is lessened for every individual for (Use: "according to the...) the growing unemployment rate. The (Omit and use, "A".) possible illustration is that in China, people usually work 6 days a week, and if these days are reduced to 4 days then it excessively increases the employment opportunities. Besides, individuals find themselves more time to make effective communication. As a result, the intimacy among families in the society would probably grow up (Omit, "grow up" and use "increase").

At the end of the day, family relationships are important for any country. So the public authority should identify all causes for the reduction in closeness. Then, it must implement appropriate strategies to increase the closeness among citizens.
Post Reply