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[swimmer]

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not hte real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the impact of advertisement's power on people's choices is a hotly debated issue. With the consumption of popular goods on the rise, some people believe that advertisement does not promote the real needs of society. However, some others argue that the consumption of any good is beneficial, irrespectively of its usefulness. It is my belief that our society is defined by the consumerism of useless products without any real interest for people's lives.
To begin with, there are various arguments in favour of consumerism. Each person is free to make a decision to buy any good of their preference. Moreover, a plethora of young people try to follow the trends of market, consuming everything advertised by famous individuals. FOr instance, according to extensively conducted surveys, more than 30% of West countries citizens purchase the latest model of mobile phone, because they are influenced by advertisement which endorsed celebrities. Multinational companies owners support that new workplaces are created, because of the large consumption og goods.
On the other hand, opponets of consumerism, included myself, claim that the real needs of society are not reflected by advertisments. For example, despite the fact that Ethiopian citizens are eking out a hand-to-mouth existence, coca-cola company advertises its products in the country, putting giant posters in the middle of central markets. In addition, large advertising companies hire many phycologists who use many techniques in order to persuade the consumers to buy specific products. As a consequence, consumers are disorientated without understanding their real needs.
Taking all the above facts into consideration, consumer needs should be determined by themselves, abd not colorful advertisement. UNder no circumstances, should mind games be used by advertisers in order to disorientated the consumers from their initial choice. Should large fines be imposed on companies by governments when they use such techniques?

[hellhobbit]

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the impact of advertising ('power' is redundant) on people's choices is a hotly debated issue. With the consumption of popular goods on the rise, some (no need for 'people's' here) believe that advertising does not promote the real needs of society. However, some others argue that the consumption of any good ('product' would sound a bit more clear) is beneficial, irrespective of its usefulness. It is my belief that our society is defined by the consumption of useless products without any real interest for people's lives.
To begin with, there are various arguments in favour of consumerism. Each person is free to make a decision to buy any good of their preference. Moreover, a plethora of young people try to follow the trends of the market, consuming everything and anything advertised by famous individuals. For instance, according to extensively conducted surveys, more than 30% of Western countries' (you need an apostrophe to indicate that it is possessive) citizens purchase the latest models of mobile phones, because they are influenced by advertisements which feature celebrities. Multinational companies owners support that new workplaces are created, because of the large consumption og goods. I would re-word this as, "The owners of multinational companies maintain that jobs are created by the mass consumption of their goods."
On the other hand, opponents of consumerism, including myself, claim that the real needs of society are not reflected by advertisements. The wording here is rather awkward. I would say something like, "...claim that advertising does not reflect the real needs of society." For example, despite the fact that Ethiopian citizens are eking out a hand-to-mouth existence, Coca-Cola advertises its products in the country, putting giant posters in the middle of central markets. In addition, large advertising companies hire ('many' isn't necessary here) psychologists who use many techniques to persuade the consumers to buy specific products. As a consequence, consumers are disorientated and fail to understand their real needs.
Taking all the above facts into consideration, consumer needs should be determined by themselves (This sounds awkward- maybe say, "...consumer needs should be determined by the consumers."), and not by colorful advertisement. Under no circumstances(no comma here) should mind games be used by advertisers in order to dissuade the consumers from their initial choice. Should large fines be imposed on companies by governments when they use such techniques? Why are you ending with a question? This isn't necessary.

[swimmer]

Thanks a lot.

Are you a native speaker or you just use the English language properly?
What do you think about cohesion and coherence ?

Anyway, thanks a lot.

Swimmer