Review needed - Letter for vacanceis at children summer holiday camp

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Xbb
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:01 pm

Review needed - Letter for vacanceis at children summer holiday camp

Post by Xbb »

You recently saw an advertisement about helpers for children summer holiday camp. Write a letter to camp organizers and say:
– Describe the areas where you can help.
– Give the time period you are available.
– Ask some questions about the camp.

------------------------------------------ ******************* --------------------------------------------
Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing to apply for the advertised vacancy of helper in your coming children summer holiday camp. Please allow me to share a bit of details about my candidacy as follows.

First and foremost, I have been a fully qualified athlete coach for more than five years. In fact, I also had one year working as the cheer leader at a National camp for teenagers before that. Therefore, I am uttterly confident that I could help with creating excitement and motivation amongst children as a leader of both cheer leading and exercises conducting.

Due to the fact that I am still at my current job as the football coach at the Community High School; I could only join the camp from 1st June when my school starts its annual holiday term. Honestly, I hope my tentative available time fits your camp’s inauguration accordingly. Moreover, I would like to know more details about certain aspects of the camp in the event that you find my profile qualified. What will be the official working time for a typical day? And could you please let me know if I could find a small room to stay at the camp during its length of one month.

I do appreciate your prompt reply.
Yours faithfully,
Xbb
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Review needed - Letter for vacanceis at children summer holiday camp

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

athletics coach
cheerleader (one word)
inauguration?

Basically, those are just a few minor vocabulary errors. The only real mistake is that you haven't said when you are free until.

Overall, good grammar and vocabulary, both in terms of range and accuracy. There are mistakes, but they do not change meaning.

All the best,
David
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