Hello everyone,
Please listen to my record and grade it
http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/download/file.php?id=107
School
School
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- School.mp3
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Re: School
Hi, Muxtar,
Your introduction was nice in this piece. “I am going to talk about my school,” you said, but you did not say what the name of your school actually is or where it is/was located. I was also a bit confused in the beginning whether you were talking about a private school or a public school. You said you attended a private school, but that you also attended a public school at one point. However, I wasn’t sure which school you were talking about.
Pronunciation in this piece made it difficult for the listener to understand at times. There were pieces that I was not able to understand. I am guessing, for example, that when you said that the headmaster was from a nearby “willage” that you meant “village.”
The organization of this speech was somewhat confusing as well. In addition to the confusion at the beginning as far as whether you were talking about a public or private school, the part where you mention students who were suspended for smoking on the playground seemed a bit irrelevant and off-topic. Finally, I would add in some transition words to help link your speech’s topics. You might try, “Next, I will discuss the people at my school,” for example.
Your vocabulary was good overall, as usual, especially at the end when you mentioned something about the school creating favorable conditions for students’ futures.
A few grammar/expression points to consider: The word “people” is singular, not plural. A few times in your speech, you said “peoples.” The only time you would use “peoples,” perhaps, is when you refer to nationalities or ethnic groups around the world. In addition, you said, “I have interest for. . .” when you should have said, “I had an interest in. . .” Note that the verb is in the past tense that the preposition “in” goes with “interest,” not “for.” Finally, “redeveloping towards a university” should be “transformed into a university.”
All in all, you give good information, but I would encourage you to work on transitions between points as well as creating a solid conclusion at the end.
Your introduction was nice in this piece. “I am going to talk about my school,” you said, but you did not say what the name of your school actually is or where it is/was located. I was also a bit confused in the beginning whether you were talking about a private school or a public school. You said you attended a private school, but that you also attended a public school at one point. However, I wasn’t sure which school you were talking about.
Pronunciation in this piece made it difficult for the listener to understand at times. There were pieces that I was not able to understand. I am guessing, for example, that when you said that the headmaster was from a nearby “willage” that you meant “village.”
The organization of this speech was somewhat confusing as well. In addition to the confusion at the beginning as far as whether you were talking about a public or private school, the part where you mention students who were suspended for smoking on the playground seemed a bit irrelevant and off-topic. Finally, I would add in some transition words to help link your speech’s topics. You might try, “Next, I will discuss the people at my school,” for example.
Your vocabulary was good overall, as usual, especially at the end when you mentioned something about the school creating favorable conditions for students’ futures.
A few grammar/expression points to consider: The word “people” is singular, not plural. A few times in your speech, you said “peoples.” The only time you would use “peoples,” perhaps, is when you refer to nationalities or ethnic groups around the world. In addition, you said, “I have interest for. . .” when you should have said, “I had an interest in. . .” Note that the verb is in the past tense that the preposition “in” goes with “interest,” not “for.” Finally, “redeveloping towards a university” should be “transformed into a university.”
All in all, you give good information, but I would encourage you to work on transitions between points as well as creating a solid conclusion at the end.