Kindly review my letter and essay, and let me know the areas I need to improve upon

[princesampla]

Hi,

Myself Prince Sampla, I am sitting for IELTS General Training exam on 4th June. I am not very confident about my writing skills and need your opinion on the same. It would be very helpful for me, if you can comment on my writing style and suggest improvements to make it more effective. I need to score very high marks in the exam and thus I need to prepare thoroughly for it.

I am submitting one General Training Letter and one Essay below. Kindly look into this and provide me your valuable suggestions. I want to learn, thus, I am open to any criticism.

Question 1 You have recently started working in a new company.

Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter:
Explain why you changed job
Describe your new job
Tell him/her your other news.

Dear Peter,
I am writing this letter so as to inform you about my new job. I have joined Azus and have started working as Communications Manager in its Marketing division.

As you already know, I was not happy with my previous job. With time the work had become monotonous and the growth opportunities were also dismal. Two months back I requested my HR about a change in the role. But the HR did not took any action on my request. I started looking for opportunities with other companies in my area of interest and luckily I got this one.

My new job is entirely based on my expectations. Here, I have been given the authority to take decisions and I am working in the Communications department; you already know how much I aspired for, to get a job in this area.

Another good news is, I might need to travel to your country next month, on a work related visit. The visit will be of one week duration and I am looking forward to meet you then.

Waiting to hear from you soon.

With regards,
Prince Sampla.


Question 2 Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

The recent trends of globalisation and economic migration are resulting in exodus of rural population to urban areas. As, the land resources are limited, many people need to select between living in a house versus living in an apartment. The disadvantages of living in a house outweigh the advantages, when compared with apartment.

The key advantage of living in a house would be the easy access to the relatively peaceful environment. Another advantage would be the privacy which remains ensured, while living in a house. Also the ability to modify or redesign the structure based on your preferences is another significant advantage.

The key disadvantage would be the inability to share resources like swimming pool, gym and thus save the costs involved. Sharing these resources would reduce costs and the time spent in maintenance activities. Also, staying in the house devoid one of the opportunities to effectively connect with their neighbours. People living in apartments frequently get together on various social occasions. Thus, the celebration or happiness gets shared and bond between people becomes stronger.

Living in the house could be more beneficial if one wants to isolate himself from the environment or is looking for a very peaceful place while ensuring privacy. But in modern times, when the resources are already limited and living expenses are already high, living in apartment is a far more sensible decision.