Please comment on my letter and give me feedback

[Ali Ehsan]

Task
Your parents will be celebrating their 40th anniversary next month. You are planning a big celebration, but you are not sure how to make the occasion memorable. Write a letter to your friend who is professional event planner. In your letter
• Explain why the occasion is special
• Ask for her assistance
• Set up a time to meet to discuss your plans


Dear Amna,

Hope you are fine and your family members are doing well. I am good here too despite of being busy in making arrangements for 40th anniversary of my parents.

As you know, my parents live in Australia. They are coming here next month to spend their vacations. I am eagerly waiting to see them after a long time. Surprisingly, their marriage anniversary is also due in the coming month, so I really want to make this event, a memorable one for us.

Since there is only a short time left in the event, I am little confused with the preparations, so I want to take benefit from your professional experience in this regard.

Please let me know a suitable date, time and place of your own convenience to discuss the plans in more detail. I hope you would take pleasure in assisting me.

Pay my regards to your family members.

Your friend,
Ali

[AwolsESL]

Dear Amna,

Hope you are fine and your family members are doing well. I am good here too despite of being busy in making arrangements for the 40th anniversary of my parents.

As you know, my parents live in Australia. They are coming here next month to spend their vacations. I am eagerly waiting to see them after such a long time. Surprisingly, Their marriage wedding anniversary is also due in the this coming month, so I really want to make this event, a memorable one for us.

Since there is only a short time left in until the event, and as I am little confused with about the preparations, so I want would like to take benefit from your professional experience in this regard.

Please let me know a suitable date, time and place of your own convenience to discuss the plans in more detail. I hope you would take pleasure in assisting me. I look forward to discussing ideas.

Pay Pass my regards to your family members.

Your friend,
Ali

Mostly fine. Take out. Add in.
You can't really ask someone to take pleasure in doing something for you, only they can say that they take pleasure.
Would like is also more polite than want.

[Ali Ehsan]

That's a great assessment, Awols. I agree with everything you've written here.

Thank you for your time.

BR,
Ali.

[durai]

Hi Ali Ehsan,

Once you are trying to write just around 150 words, try to do get around 160 instead, in case if you write couple of words short, you will be heavily penalized for task response.

I know its a good to write less words so that there won't be many mistakes but task achievement is really important than writing one simple sentence of 10 words.

Good luck

Durai

[allen_zhang]

Welcome back Durai.
Long time no see.
How's about your latest test?

[Ali Ehsan]

Thank you Durai for your feedback.

BR,
Ali

[saqibali]

Try to break sentences