Hey guys!
I'm kinda struggling with my IELTS writing Task I ..
I already did some practise but my problem is the time and that I'm not sure if I can achieve a band 6!
I hope someone can have a look at my writing, since I can't correct it by myself ..
(learning English intensively since 4 months) so please focus on the grammar as well..
The table provides data about the underground railway system in six major cities in terms of opening date, total length of rail road and annual ridership. Overall, each of the mentioned features of the six subway systems vary considerably.
According to the table, the oldest system in London has the longest railroad. Incorporated in 1863 it measures a length of 394 kilometers. While regarding to the amount of passengers per year, Tokyo reaches the highest number with 1927 million annual ridership.
Comparing those facts Kyoto, as one of the recent subway stations, opened in 1981 has the minority of both length and ridership, reflected in 11 kilometers of subway road used by 45 passengers per year. These figures are closely followed by LA.
While Washington DC has rather average numbers, Paris stands out with the second highest amount of ridership, carrying an average of 1191 million passengers per year.
To sum up, there is an evident distinction between the six cities, regarding the age, the size of the system and the annual passenger number.
To my knowledge, you have a good writing skills and can secure more than six, i really like your analyzing skills and using fair amount of linking words which is quite impressive.
keep writing you will go beyond seven .
i wish i could have skills like yours..i even cant write like you..i have more problem of thinking and planning ahead..and still not ready to use such amount of transitional words like yours. however i am not in that bad level that i cant improve, but the problem is concentration and stress that i am currently juggling with.
Jules03 wrote:Hey guys!
I'm kinda struggling with my IELTS writing Task I ..
I already did some practise but my problem is the time and that I'm not sure if I can achieve a band 6!
I hope someone can have a look at my writing, since I can't correct it by myself ..
(learning English intensively since 4 months) so please focus on the grammar as well..
The table provides data about the underground railway system in six major cities in terms of opening date, total length of rail road and annual ridership. Overall, each of the mentioned features of the six subway systems vary considerably.
According to the table, the oldest system in London has the longest railroad. Opened in 1863, it runs for 394 kilometers. However, with regards to the amount of passengers per year, Tokyo reaches the highest number with 1927 million passengers every year.
In comparison to this, Kyoto, opened in 1981, has the shortest length and fewest passengers, 11 kilometers and 45 million passengers per year. These figures are closely followed by LA.
While Washington DC has rather average numbers, Paris stands out with the second highest amount of ridership, carrying an average of 1191 million passengers per year.
To sum up, there is an evident distinction between the six cities regarding the age, the size of the system and the annual passenger number.
