Many people today, especially in the developed world, are choosing to have fewer children, or none at all.
Why is this happening, and do you think it is a good trend?
Modern-day society has shed lots of our old world traditions. One of them is the idea of having big families. Many from this current generation are having fewer kids or none at all and while this may look like a smart choice, it might not be as good as one may think it is.
Be it the infamous one child policy in China, or the culture shift in Japan instigating the trend. It can be observed that the population is decreasing in the whole of the developed world. Our life became less labor intensive and modern machinery slowly replaced manual work. It became evident that more could be done with less amount of people.
Also, a lot of conservationists have come forward at making claims about the huge carbon footprint a human leaves. So to many it made sense that less population equals less climate exploitation. Moreover, It also meant that there would be more opportunities available.
From a parental perspective it seems more logical to give your one offspring the best shot by providing all the resources to one rather than dividing it up between the multitudes. Also economically, Having fewer children means less expenditure. Living in cities is getting expensive by the day and sustaining a big family is only possible when your mean income is quite above the average.
However, not everything about this trend is good. Experts are worried that our current working population is aging rapidly and there aren't enough young people to fill the void. So when push comes to shove who is going to run the world? at best we can hope we have the advancement to deal with the shortage, at worst we keep exploiting the working class and outsourcing labor from third world countries.
writing task 2 please evaluate
Re: writing task 2 please evaluate
Hi Leo7.5,
I have had a look at your essay, and it contains some good ideas, uses a range of idioms, wide range of vocabluarly, and connective phrases. The good ideas include replacing manual work with machines, the cost of raising children in developed countries, people's concerns about the environment etc.
There are however some problems. For instance, you write that the population in the developed world is decreasing''. This may be true in a couple of countries, but generally, the population growth rate is declining due to fewer babies being born. There is a difference between these two ideas.
The better topic sentence (first sentence) for the second paragraph is the second sentence. ('It can be observed that population growth in the developed world is decreasing...' Also, the first sentence in paragraph two is not an accurate sentence. It's a little awkward and would be better if it was reorganised/ re-phrased like: 'Two examples of declining population growth are China because of the one-child policy, and Japan due to a culture shift related to marriage and families.
In the last paragraph, the ideas about 'so when push comes to shove, who is going to run the world?... at worst we keep exploiting the working class and outsourcing labor from third world countries' is non sequitur to the argument. It doesn't really link to the idea of a declining birth rate in the developed world.
A good strategy to finish your essay is to restate your opinion so that the examiner is reminded of your ideas about the topic.
I hope some of my suggestions/ ideas are useful.
cheers
Locky
I have had a look at your essay, and it contains some good ideas, uses a range of idioms, wide range of vocabluarly, and connective phrases. The good ideas include replacing manual work with machines, the cost of raising children in developed countries, people's concerns about the environment etc.
There are however some problems. For instance, you write that the population in the developed world is decreasing''. This may be true in a couple of countries, but generally, the population growth rate is declining due to fewer babies being born. There is a difference between these two ideas.
The better topic sentence (first sentence) for the second paragraph is the second sentence. ('It can be observed that population growth in the developed world is decreasing...' Also, the first sentence in paragraph two is not an accurate sentence. It's a little awkward and would be better if it was reorganised/ re-phrased like: 'Two examples of declining population growth are China because of the one-child policy, and Japan due to a culture shift related to marriage and families.
In the last paragraph, the ideas about 'so when push comes to shove, who is going to run the world?... at worst we keep exploiting the working class and outsourcing labor from third world countries' is non sequitur to the argument. It doesn't really link to the idea of a declining birth rate in the developed world.
A good strategy to finish your essay is to restate your opinion so that the examiner is reminded of your ideas about the topic.
I hope some of my suggestions/ ideas are useful.
cheers
Locky