Please evaluate my writing and give your feedback. Thank you very much.

[dbuiasl123]

WRITING TASK 1
The line graphs illustrate the percentages of household recycling in the UK, Germany and France from 2005 to 2015. Overall, these rates for the UK and Germany witness a gradual increase while the rate for France generally declines.
In 2005, Britain and Germany had a low proportion of recycling at 35% and 20% respectively. Over the following four years, British and German household recycling rates steadily climbed to roughly 40% and 32%, nearly the same as France at approximately 32% in 2009. Then, these percentages increased significantly by approximately 15% and 12% in the next two years and finally reached their peaks at 60% and 50% in 2015.
In contrast, despite of being the highest recycling rate among these three countries at the beginning of the period, the French figure in 2013 dropped to nearly 30% from 50% in the year 2005. However, this figure has broadened since 2005 and reached 40% in 2015.

[goldcoastielts]

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Thanks for your submission dbuiasl123!! Please see my rewrite below ...


INTRO:
The line graphs illustrate (delete 'the') percentages of household recycling in the UK, Germany and France from 2005 to 2015. Overall, THE rates for the UK and Germany witness a gradual increase while the rate for France generally declines. (EXCELLENT)

DETAILS AND COMPARISON:
(LOOKING IN MORE DETAIL,) In 2005, Britain and Germany had a low proportion of recycling at 35% and 20% respectively, BUT over the following four years, British and German household recycling rates steadily climbed to roughly 40% and 32%, WHICH WAS nearly the same as France, (add comma) at approximately 32% in 2009. These percentages then increased significantly by approximately 15% and 12% OVER the next two years and finally reached their peaks at 60% and 50% in 2015. In contrast, despite (delete 'of') being the highest recycling rate among these three countries at the beginning of the period, the French figure in 2013 dropped to nearly 30% from 50% in the year 2005. SINCE THEN, however, this figure has broadened AND ROSE TO reach 40% in 2015.



This is a great task 1 dbuiasl123! You did everything that you need to do in a task 1.

Advice:
1. The only problem with your intro was that you didn't quite use the definite article ('the') in the right way. This will decrease your grammar score, but only a little. Please think about the two mistakes had by yourself.
2. Never start a sentence with 'then'. This word is an adverb and usually comes (i) directly after a comma, (ii) directly after 'and', or (iii) directly before a verb.
3. ("despite + NOUN") not ("despite + PREPOSITION")

Band-score:
TA: 7.5 (The quality slips a little towards the end)
G: 8.0 (Strongest area, especially at the beginning)
V: 7.5
CC: 6.5 (Definitely the weakest area. Add some linking at the beginning of the second paragraph!)

[dbuiasl123]

Thank you very much.