Being an ordinary consumer, I would like to give some details about the reason why to go to a supermarket than a local one.
Supermarkets are more economical than the local markets. There are also lots of options in products when we compare them with local ones. However, unfortunately, in local markets, there is a lack of quality products and freshness. It is not economical either. In domestic markets, the products are sold at a higher price. Sometimes I go to a local market to do the shopping, and I don't always find what I need.
In supermarkets, there is always a discount on products. Supermarkets are more affordable to do shopping than the local markets. In supermarkets, it still possible to find fresh and quality products. There is a playground for kids and a car park zone, so you don't need to worry about your kids and your car. So such varieties could be a reason for people to go to a supermarket than a local one.
As we can see, there are many aspects to this question. It can be concluded that generally, supermarkets have more advantages than disadvantages and the given trend of changes in people's preferences is more positive.
Supermarket vs. local market
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Re: Supermarket vs. local market
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Thanks for your submission caner!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
AS an ordinary consumer, I would like to give some details about the reason why I PREFER GOING to a supermarket RATHER than a localLY OWNED one.
B1:
Supermarkets are FAR OPERATE AT MUCH LARGER ECONOMIES OF SCALE than the local markets. There are also A LOT of options WHEN IT COMES TO products IF we compare them with local STORES. UNFORTUNATELY HOWEVER, in local markets, there is a lack of quality products and freshness. It is ALSO not SUCH AN economical WAY TO SHOP either. In domestic markets, the products are sold at a higher price, AND THAT IS WHY I sometimes go to a local market to do the shopping, ALTHOUGH I don't always find what I need.
B2:
In supermarkets, ON THE OTHER HAND, there ARE ALWAYS PRODUCTS THAT ARE ON DISCOUNT. Supermarkets are more affordable to do ONE'S shopping than the local markets. In supermarkets, it still possible to find fresh and quality products. There ALSO MAY BE a playground for kids and a car park zone, so you don't need to worry about your kids OR your car, So such A LARGE varietY OF FACILITIES could be a reason for people to go to a supermarket MORE OFTEN than a local one.
CONC:
As we can see, there are many aspects to this question. It can be concluded that generally, supermarkets have more advantages than disadvantages and THAT THIS CHANGE IN in people's preferences is A positive ONE.
Advice:
1. This essay is only 203 words. It is much too short to get a good TA (task achievement) mark. Please write 250-270 words!
2. Most of the sentences are very short and choppy. Try to combine your sentences into longer structures with linking words.
3. There is hardly any linking in this essay. Make sure you always use linking phrases for a high CC (cohesion and coherence) score.
TA: 5.0
G: 5.0
V: 5.0
CC: 4.5
IELTS essay check : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/essays
Online IELTS lessons : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/lessons
IELTS Freebies!! : https://www.goldcoastielts.com/freebies
YouTube - "TASK 1 PROCESS ESSAY FULL DEMO" : https://youtu.be/9m-4vcxC8nY
Thanks for your submission caner!! Please see my rewrite below ...
INTRO:
AS an ordinary consumer, I would like to give some details about the reason why I PREFER GOING to a supermarket RATHER than a localLY OWNED one.
B1:
Supermarkets are FAR OPERATE AT MUCH LARGER ECONOMIES OF SCALE than the local markets. There are also A LOT of options WHEN IT COMES TO products IF we compare them with local STORES. UNFORTUNATELY HOWEVER, in local markets, there is a lack of quality products and freshness. It is ALSO not SUCH AN economical WAY TO SHOP either. In domestic markets, the products are sold at a higher price, AND THAT IS WHY I sometimes go to a local market to do the shopping, ALTHOUGH I don't always find what I need.
B2:
In supermarkets, ON THE OTHER HAND, there ARE ALWAYS PRODUCTS THAT ARE ON DISCOUNT. Supermarkets are more affordable to do ONE'S shopping than the local markets. In supermarkets, it still possible to find fresh and quality products. There ALSO MAY BE a playground for kids and a car park zone, so you don't need to worry about your kids OR your car, So such A LARGE varietY OF FACILITIES could be a reason for people to go to a supermarket MORE OFTEN than a local one.
CONC:
As we can see, there are many aspects to this question. It can be concluded that generally, supermarkets have more advantages than disadvantages and THAT THIS CHANGE IN in people's preferences is A positive ONE.
Advice:
1. This essay is only 203 words. It is much too short to get a good TA (task achievement) mark. Please write 250-270 words!
2. Most of the sentences are very short and choppy. Try to combine your sentences into longer structures with linking words.
3. There is hardly any linking in this essay. Make sure you always use linking phrases for a high CC (cohesion and coherence) score.
TA: 5.0
G: 5.0
V: 5.0
CC: 4.5
