General training essay 120421

[allen_zhang]

120421 Some people believe that children will have a promising future if they are always rewarded by their parents or teachers when they well-behave. However, other people argue that if the children misbehave, they should be punished so that they could be qualified citizens. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

People have different views on how to manage children’s behavior in order to make them better members of society in the future. While some people hold that children should be punished for their misbehavior, some others believe that rewarding children is a more effective solution. From my perspective, both methods work in certain contexts in case they are appropriately carried out.

On the one hand, as a traditional child behavior management strategy, punishment has been proved to be effective and rewarding. Through punishment, children can learn the consequence of a bad behavior, which can reduce the risk of having more serious problems in their later adult life. For example, when a child always forgets to put his bicycle into the garage and left it outside the house, taking away the bicycle for two days may stop him making the same mistake. In the adult life of this child, he may be more careful about his belongings and become a responsible and reliable person.

On the other hand, reward system has also been adopted by many parents. Offering rewards for good behaviors can encourage children to behave better. For example, a reward like “I will play a game with you if you can take care of your little brother.” can inspire a child to work hard on babysitting his little brother. Furthermore, through rewarding, children can learn an important fact, which also works in their adult lives, that privileges and extra incentives must be earned.

However, from my point of view, these two behavior manage systems need to be carefully deployed. Firstly, harsh even physical punishment, such as spanking, should be avoided. This is because it implies aggressive behavior on the part of an adult, the very behavior we oppose in children. It breeds resentment, and often leads to increased violence and serious abuse. Secondly, parents should also pay attention to do not let rewording turn into bribery, because children may take advantage of it and even threaten their parents to get a reward.

To conclude, both punishment and rewarding can help manage children’s behavior and better prepare them for their adult lives. But, parents should be careful on the strategies of them and avoid the possible side-effects.

[yhjsaber]

Hi allen,

I am no expert in spotting grammatical mistakes and correcting essays. However, after I had finished reading your essay, I felt it is not natural. I recommend you to read more articles and probably some novels. I suggest you to read a novel serious called "Divergent", do learn to imitate the ways in which the author constructs simple yet beautiful and concise sentences in his books.

Cheers.

[allen_zhang]

Thank you yhjsaber,

Actually, I struggled a lot on this topic and it is not even my essay. I copied a lot from some online articles because I feel that I don't have much to say about this topic. Also, I awae that there are some arguments I didn't well explain them.

I'll try to read "Divergent" as you recommended....

Br,
Allen

[durai]

hi allen,

Unusually, you wrote along essay around 368 words....and you repeated

children 7 instead you cold use--young people, young individuals, adolescence, juveniles
behavior 7 wrong attitude, negative way, delinquency, positive approach, conduct, action, act ...
adult 5 grown-up people, people, fully-grown,


I think the examples are not good enough...and rather confusing...
I won't prefer to go through every line in such big essay.

Durai

[allen_zhang]

Durai,
You are totally right, I don't like the example either.

BR!
Allen