Essay about friendship

[Meauuw]

Hi everybody,
Could you please assess my essay.
Thank you.

The most important thing in life is friendship. What is your opinion? Do you agree with this statement?

Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Probably everybody has a few close friends who you met at school or university. Nevertheless, I think that our life does consists of more significant things even than friendship. For example, family and self-realisation are vital necessities of life at all times.

Firstly, a family has a significant influence on both upbringing and education of a child since early age. For example, most of parents are ready to pay huge amounts of money in order to place their children to the best kindergartens, schools and universities. Probably, it helps children to get a good education and become a high demand worker in future, but if a child can’t count on family’s sustain it might be difficult to succeed in life. It would be hard to overestimate the importance of family especially in the childhood.

Secondly, man’s nature is supposed to attain self-realisation. For instance, the famous theory of human needs by Abrahim Maslow claims that self-realisation is on the top of man needs. Due to this theory if a man reaches this point then his needs such as safety, love and physiologycal need are already satisfied. Thus, even the science proves that the self-realisation is an important part of life.

To summarize, family and self-realisation are very considerable things in life. Therefore, it is clear that friendship can’t replace other essential points. However, I recommend to make friends because friends make our life more exciting.

[Meauuw]

update

[Flick]

Hi everybody,
Could you please assess my essay.
Thank you.

The most important thing in life is friendship. What is your opinion? Do you agree with this statement?

Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Probably everybody has a few close friends whom they met at school or university. Nevertheless, I think that our life does consists of more significant things even than friendship. For example, family and self-realisation are vital necessities of life at all times.

Firstly, a family has a significant influence on both the upbringing and education of a child from an early age. For example, most parents are ready to pay huge amounts of money in order to place their children in the best kindergartens, schools and universities. This helps children to get a good education and become a high demand worker in future, but if a child can’t count on a family’s support, it might be difficult to succeed in life. It is hard to overestimate the importance of family, especially during childhood.

Secondly, man’s nature is supposed to attain self-realisation.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) For instance, the famous theory of human needs by Abrahim Maslow claims that self-realisation is at the top of man's needs. Due to this theory, if a man reaches this point then his needs such as safety, love and physiological need are already satisfied. Thus, even science proves that self-realisation is an important part of life.

To summarize, family and self-realisation are very important things in life. Therefore, it is clear that friendship can’t replace these other essential points. However, I recommend making friends because friends make our life more exciting.

[Meauuw]

Thank you for your corrections!