Please give some tips on my essay .

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

Hi there ,

I request you to give your suggestions . I tried to follow Ryans instructions but it was impossible to follow that in limited period of time at this stage of my prepration. Infact I got so confused that how to complete given task . We cant do it like argument question as it is asking to explain for both the views . I know ,I messed up but I need your help to give clarification . Please guide me . waiting for your response. My exams are approaching. Pleeeeeeeeee..............ase.


Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.



The pace of life has shown a drastic shift over the last few decades due to the advancement in the technology and globalization. Change in life is almost an inescapable aspect of life rather than a choice now a day. However, some people consider change is always a part of positive development while others prefer monotonous life style.This essay will analyse the pros and cons of both the sides.

Firstly, static life has its own advantages as it provides stability and comparatively less stress in life. For example, a study in Australia has shown that the children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. On the other hand, staying at one place with no change can affect overall personality development of children because they haven’t got enough exposure in life.

On the other hand , change is a sign of progression and development. Variety is the spice of life .The people who are involved in transcontinental business can enjoy cross-cultural events, variety of food and can achieve potential growth in their business. However, change is not always good as it quite stressful to adapt with frequent changes. Take an example of my cousin, Amanda who suffered a lot and developed psychological problem because she could not adjust with frequent changes in school atmosphere due to the nomadic life style of her family.

Overall, both concept of lifestyles has its own pros and cons and it completely depends on an individual personality and personal circumstances that what type of lifestyle they want to adopt rather than a choice.
Last edited by Tina on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

hi tina,
can I try review it or ?????
i am confused y u r writing firstly and secondly.....write on the other hand
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

You r most welcome Saran . In fact everyone . Instead of crying after loosing in exam , hit my essay as hard as possible now . I will be grateful to u .
I was also thinking the same phrase while writing but got so confused at the end .
Please come up with your criticism .
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

hi raj,
post it here
Last edited by saran on Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Raj
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:47 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Raj »

Hi Tina,
I provided some feedback check your mail please.
Cheers
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


The pace of life has shown a drastic shift over the last few decades due to the advancement in the technology and globalization. throughout the human era,life change is anChange in life is almost an inescapable aspect of life rather than a choice now a day . However, some people consider change is always a part of positive development while others prefer monotonous life style.This essay will analyse the pros and cons of both the sides.

Firstly, static life has its own advantages as it provides stability and comparatively less stress in life. For example, a study in Australia has shown that the children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. On the other hand, staying at one place with no change can affect overall personality development of children because they haven’t got enough exposure in life differ from examplethis example clearly shows that family, who are immobile, children scores good marks.Thus,staying away from diversity has its own benefits

On the other hand , change(in life) is a sign of progression and development. (Variety is the spice of life ).The people who are involved in transcontinental business can enjoy crossmuti-cultural events, variety of food and canwill achieve potential growth in their business. However, change is not always good as it quite stressful to adapt with frequent changes. say it on conclusion take about positive in change/color] Take an example of my cousin, Amanda who suffered a lot and developed psychological problem because she could not adjust with frequent changes in school atmosphere due to the nomadic life style of her family.linkkkkkkkkkkk the example

Overallafter analyszing the both views,change is not always good as it quite stressful to adapt with frequent changes. give ur opinion/color] both concept of lifestyles has its own pros and cons and it completely depends on an individual personality and personal circumstances that what type of lifestyle they want to adopt rather than a choice.
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

Thanks a lot Saran for valuable suggestions. you know the most difficult thing i faced here is to give proper structure to my essay . I knew it was weird . Please help me to frame the outline of such q when they ask views of both sides.

Introduction :

PARA 1 : taking about the concept of static life in positive

giving positive example of the same .

should i discuss the disadvantage also in the same para ?

conclude this particular concept

para2 talk about change concept in positive .

give positive example of same

do u think that i need to discuss disadvantage of change in the same para ?

conclude that change is also good.


conclusion I think its difficult to conclude as I am giving example in favour of both concepts. Can I say what do i believe as asked in question ? Ryan says , dont be personal . Then how to give my own opinion.
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

hi tina,


Introduction :
view of otherss supporting 1
PARA 1 : taking about the concept of static life in positive, yes

giving positive example of the same ,yes

should i discuss the disadvantage also in the same para ?,no i prefer not to talk about the dis in same para

conclude this particular concept, yes
view of other supporting para 2
para2 talk about change concept in positive .yes

give positive example of same yes

do u think that i need to discuss disadvantage of change in the same para ? no

conclude that change is also good.yes

conclude which side u r in???
conclusion I think its difficult to conclude as I am giving example in favour of both concepts. Can I say what do i believe as asked in question ? Ryan says , dont be personal . Then how to give my own opinion.
yes dont give personal instead use "IT is belived i prefer talk about positive in both para.in conclusion give ur opinion
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

Thanks , it's really helpful for me .
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

hi tina,
reframe and post the essay again...i think i will be online quite some time to post my essay and letter...thx
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

Reframed essay, Waiting for your criticism.Thanks


Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.



Nowadays, change in life is almost inevitable rather than a choice in this fast pace world . Hence, Some people consider change is always essential for positive development while others refute this and prefer monotonous life style. Both the views will be discussed in this essay.

Avoiding change in life has its own merits, as it provides stability and comparatively less stress and it holds true for children as well. Take an example of a recent study conducted in Australia, which concluded that the School children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. This example illustrates that it is extremely beneficial to remain stabilized at one school for a longer duration for the academic growth of a child.

On the other hand, change is certainly a sign of progression and development. The people who are involved in transcontinental business can enjoy multicultural events, multicusine, Multilanguage etc. This helps in an overall personality development, linguistic abilities, creativity and potential growth. Take an example of establishment of Multinational Companies in India in recent years. This example shows that lot of foreign investors preferred to invest in India as they visualize the potential growth with mobilization to India from their destination country. Thus, change proved beneficial to them.

To sum up, it is clear that either stable or changing life style has its own weight and it is completely dependent on individual personalities and circumstances, to choose their preferences and live upto their own ideology.
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Nowadays, change in life is almost inevitable rather than a choice in (this)the fast pace world . Hence, Some people (consider)argue change is always essential for positive development while others refute this and prefer monotonous life style. Both the viewsrepeating the question it will be analyse by looking at the prefer 1 as well as prefer 2will be discussed in this essay.

Avoiding change in 9the)life has its own merits, as it provides stability and comparatively less stress and it holds true for children as well.(def grammar mistake but i dont know which one) Take an example of a recent study conducted in Australiatake a recent study conducted in Australia as an example/color], which concluded that the School children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. This example illustrates that it is extremely beneficial to remain stabilized at one school for a longer duration for the academic growth of a child.thus, stable lifestyle has its own positive aspects.

On the other hand, change is certainly a sign of progression and development. The people who are involved in transcontinental business can enjoy multi(-)cultural events, multi(-)cu(i)sine, Multi(-)language etc. This helps in an overallenhance the personality development, linguistic abilities, creativity (,)and potential growth. Take an example of establishment of Multinational Companies in India(donot repeat which was done in para 1)to illustrate this,in india in recent years. This example(donot repeat)it is clearly seenthat(try to avoid that to make more formal) lotlot is informal use many (of)foreign investors preferred to invest in India as they visualize(d) the potential growth (with mobilization to India from their destination country). Thus, change proved beneficial to them(them ?????).

To sum up, it is clear that either stablestationary or changing life style has its own weight and it is completely dependent on individual personalities and circumstances, to choose their preferences and live upto their own ideology.u have to say which side r u in???? it is believed
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

Dear Saran , another attempt . Please review my essay .

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Nowadays, Change in life is almost inevitable rather than a choice in the fast pace world. Some people argue that change is always essential for positive developments while others refute this and prefer monotonous life style. It will be analyzed that both the concepts are equally well placed in todays world.

Avoiding change in life has its own merits, as it provides stability and comparatively less stress. This is applicable to children as well. A recent study conducted in Australia as an example, concluded that the School children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. This example illustrates that it is extremely beneficial to remain stabilized at one school for a longer period of time, for the academic growth of a child. Thus stability has its own brighter aspect.

On the other hand, change is challenging but certainly a sign of progression and development. The people who are involved in transcontinental business can enjoy Multi-cultural events, Multi-cuisine and Multi-language. This helps in an enhancement of personality development, linguistic abilities, creativity and potential growth. To illustrate this, recently there is mushrooming of Multinational Companies in India. It is clearly seen that many foreign investors preferred to mobilize in India for their growth and development. Thus, change is beneficial.

To sum up, it is clear that either stable or changing life style has its own weight and it is completely dependent on individual personality and circumstances, to choose their preferences and live upto their own ideology. However, I believe that change is for good.

I do not know how to clarify my position in this essay because we are talking in support of both views. Isnt"it ?
Last edited by Tina on Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Tina
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 10, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by Tina »

I still feel that I am not reaching to the core of the essay topic . Something is grossly wrong in my approach in answering such question. Please help , if you can .
saran
Posts: 33
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 8:49 pm

Re: Please give some tips on my essay .

Post by saran »

hi tina,




Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


Nowadays, Change in life is almost inevitable rather than a choice in the fast pace world(in the fast pace world change in life is inevitable). Some(many) people argue that change(variation in life) is always essential for positive developments while(,however, this is refuted by others) others refute this and prefer monotonous life style. It will be analyzed that both the concepts are equally well placed in todays world.(both sides will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is found)

(on the one hand,it is felt by many that )Avoiding change in life has its own merits, as it provides stability and comparatively less stress. This is applicable to children as well. A(take)a recent study conducted in Australia as an example, concluded that the School children of well-settled families at one place do well in academics as compared to the children of nomadic families. This example illustrates that it is extremely beneficial to remain stabilized at one school for a longer period of time, for the academic growth of a child. Thus stability has its own brighter aspect.

On the other hand, change is challenging but certainly a sign of progression and development. The people (,)who are in) in an enhancement of personality development, linguistic abilities, creativity and potential growth. To illustrate this, recently there is mushrooming of Multinational Companies in India(???). It is clearly seen that many foreign investors preferred to mobilize in India for their growth and development. Thus, change is beneficial.

To sum up, it is clear that either stable or changing life style has its own weight and it is completely dependent on individual personality and circumstances, to choose their preferences and live upto their own ideology. However, I(it is) believe(d) that change is for good.

actually essay is pretty good....u improved a lot...thanks
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