Please check this Task 2 response

[MBChand]

The modern family structure and role of member have changed in the recent years. Do you think it has a negative or positive effect on family? Give opinion and relevant example.

Advancement on socio-economic structure of human society due to innovation of different technologies has been impacting on the family and its members. A family with grandparents and grandchildren is rapidly shrinking into a family with parents and children, couples without children, or even a single person in most of the societies of the world. This shifting of family structure is changing a role of members which has suitable or adverse effect on society and personality of children.

In the busy and competent era, people often have less time to think about getting married, having children and raring them. In such case, nuclear family or family without any children or even single member family is the most suitable one because it allows to work for better career and income. For instance, numbers of actors, sportspersons, and models prefer to remain unmarried till they attain their required level of success in their career. However, it cannot be overlooked the demerit of nuclear family for growing children for their personality over large family.

When couples with little children must work for their livelihood small family has to go throw hardships in terms of their childcare. If there are grandparents in family they provide enough time and effort for care and proper guidance to their grand children. So parents could leave their children with grandparents and continue career as they wish to. For illustration, couples from country sides often leave their retired grandparents and go for work in giant industries of cities. So, this privilege may not be available to small family.

In my opinion, this change in the structure and role of members imparts more negative effect than positive to family as a whole.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The first main paragraph is rather strange. You point out that this is the best way, but then your examples are only drawn from the top of society.

In addition, I don't think that you have really made it clear whether these changes are positive or negative - you just say that they exist.

Moreover, you mention technology in the introduction as the key to the issue. Then you ignore it in the main paragraphs.

Some sentences/points are unclear, unproven and seem out of place in the paragraph, e.g. the last sentences of the first main paragraph.

All the best,
David

[MBChand]

Thank you David for your review on my writing ...

[Flick]

The modern family structure and role of member have changed in the recent years. Do you think it has a negative or positive effect on family? Give opinion and relevant example.


Advancement in the socio-economic structure of human society due to innovation of different technologies has had a significant impact on the family and its members. A family with grandparents and grandchildren is rapidly shrinking into a family with parents and children, couples without children, or even a single person in most of the societies of the world. This shifting of family structure is changing the role of members, which has positive and adverse effects on society and the personality of children.

In today's busy and competent(<--What do you mean, competent?) era, people often have less time to think about getting married, having children and raising them. In such a case, the nuclear family or family without any children or even single member family is the most suitable one because it allows to work for better career and income.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) For instance, a numbers of actors, sportspersons, and models prefer to remain unmarried till they attain their required level of success in their career. However, the disadvantages of this nuclear family dynamic cannot be overlooked for growing children for their personality.

When couples with young children must work for their livelihood, the small family has to go through hardships in terms of their childcare. If there are grandparents in the family, they provide enough time and effort for care and proper guidance to their grandchildren. So parents could leave their children with their grandparents and continue their career as they wish. For example, couples living in the country often leave their retired grandparents and go work in giant industries in the cities. So, this privilege may not be available to a small family.

In my opinion, this change in the structure and role of family members imparts more negative effects than positive ones to the family as a whole.

[MBChand]

Thank you Flick !!!! for your grammar check...