Please access my writing

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Farhad123
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Please access my writing

Post by Farhad123 »

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion.

Ans: Crime is one of the biggest problem for the society. In most of the country there is punishment system for a particular crime. Some believe there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime and others believe punishments should be basis on circumstances, crime types and behind the reasons of committing of crime. I will first discuss about the fixed punishments ground than punishments basis on different variables.

It is essential to ensure there is punishment for a crime regardless the impact of the crime to the society. If someone steals from a house should punished same way who steals government funds. If punishment is equal for stealing no none will dare to steal from house nor a government fund. As can be seen fixed punishment is a good way to reduce the rate of crime from the society.

The motive of committing crime differs from people to people, from circumstances to circumstances. For example someone is hungry for three days so he steals some food for survival.On the other hand a business person is degrading food quality to make huge profit.It is clear that both of them is committing crime but reasons is different as well as ground of crime. Thus, punishment should be basis on individual crime, motive behind the crime and circumstances, not only the crime type.

In every society , every religion and country crime is bad and discourage people not to commit the crime. I believe the punishment of a crime must be basis on the circumstances of individual and motive to commit it. The punishment should not be fixed for each type of crime. If we consider the reasons for crime and try to help people so that they do not need to engage crime than as a society we will live a good and peaceful life.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Please access my writing

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

First main paragraph - So, a person stealing a TV from a house and a person stealing billions of dollars from the government will face the same punishment? How do you KNOW this will reduce crime?

Conclusion - What about reducing crime?

Overall, this essay is a little difficult to understand, particularly as the language is 'definitive' (lack of modals).

All the best,
David
Qasim
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Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:04 am

Re: Please access my writing

Post by Qasim »

please also check my writing. need to get 8 band. please also guide me to improve
thanks

Answer
Fewer people have faith that every kind of lawbreaking criminal will face same kind of penalty, while others the remaining majority is convinced that every crime has its affect to society, so punishment should be according to the intensity of crime. Some also believe that intention should also be taken into consideration. Furthermore I will discuss both viewpoints in detail.
Taking the fewer people into consideration, if governments offer same punishment for all kinds of crimes, like shoplifting, fraud, murder and many more, crime rate will reduce to small level. It may be possible that ratio of shoplifters would reduce but for remaining serious crimes, like hijacking, murder will certainly increase, because criminal will already know the punishment or imprisonment he or she is going to face after committing the crime.
Secondly if we take punishment according to the crime or illegal activity, like muggers will face very low penalty as compare to murderer, because muggers do not hurt the society as badly as murderer. From this we also have a chance to rehabilitate the small criminal, by providing him the opportunity like employment so he/she can avoid such illegal activities. Lastly we are living in the era of technology and there is a new crime called cybercrime, which is also hurting people. Again we cannot compare cybercrime with hijacking.
In conclusion, I believe that punishment should be granted according to the crime. We should have the mechanism to educate the accused to avoid such activities. Personally, in my opinion, to reduce the crime the only way is educate the society and provide proper opportunity to people, so they can earn basic necessities for themselves and their family.
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Flick
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Re: Please access my writing

Post by Flick »

Farhad123 wrote:Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both of these two views and give your own opinion.

Ans: Crime is one of the biggest problems in society. In most countries there is a punishment system for each particular crime. Some believe there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime and others believe punishments should be based on circumstances, crime types and the reasons behind the crime. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of fixed punishments versus punishments based on different variables.

It is essential to ensure there is punishment for a crime regardless of the impact of the crime on society. If someone steals from a house they should be punished in the same way as someone who steals government funds. If the punishment is equal for stealing, no one will dare to steal from citizens or the government. As this example shows, fixed punishment is a good way to reduce the rate of crime in society.

The motive of committing crime differs from person to person, from circumstances to circumstances. For example, someone hasn't eaten for three days so he steals some food for survival. On the other hand, a business person is degrading food quality to make huge profit. It is clear that both of them are committing a crime, but the reasons are very different. Thus, the punishment should be based on the individual crime and the motive behind the crime, not just the crime type.

In every society, every religion and country, crime is bad. I believe the punishment of a crime must be based on the circumstances of the individual and the motive behind it. The punishment should not be fixed for each type of crime. If we consider the reasons for the crime and try to help people so that they do not need to engage in crime, then as a society we will live a good and peaceful life.
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Flick
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Re: Please access my writing

Post by Flick »

Qasim wrote:please also check my writing. need to get 8 band. please also guide me to improve
thanks

Answer
Fewer people have faith that every kind of lawbreaking criminal will face same kind of penalty, while others are convinced that every crime has its affect on society, so punishment should be according to the intensity of crime. Some also believe that intention should be taken into consideration. I will discuss both viewpoints in detail.

On the one hand, if governments offer the same punishment for all kinds of crimes, like shoplifting, fraud, murder and many more, the crime rate will reduce to a low level. It may be possible that the number of shoplifters would fall, but the remaining serious crimes, like hijacking or murder will certainly increase, because criminals will already know the punishment or imprisonment he or she is going to face after committing the crime.

On the other hand, if we set the punishment according to the crime or illegal activity, criminals such as muggers will face a very low penalty as compared to murderers, because muggers do not hurt the society as badly as murderers. From this we also have a chance to rehabilitate the small criminal, by providing him with opportunities like employment so he/she can avoid such illegal activities.

Lastly, we are living in the era of technology and there is a new crime called cybercrime, which is also hurting people. Again, we cannot compare cybercrime with hijacking.

In conclusion, I believe that punishment should be set according to the crime. We should have the mechanism to educate the accused to avoid such activities. Personally, in my opinion, to reduce crime the only way is to educate the society and provide proper opportunities to people so they can earn basic necessities for themselves and their family.
ankushcoolz
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Re: Please access my writing

Post by ankushcoolz »

plz check this writing.......give band scores out of 9...i will be highly obliged if somebody could reply as soon as possible ....

Topic:Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

Answer:: It is indeed a fact that with the advent of falsehood era, crime is increasing drastically linked to imbalance in the society.But,it has become a moot-concern that why this is and there could be some remedies. So, here I am going to scrutinize causes and solutions of this statement in this piece of writing.

As a matter of fact , first and foremost is the unemployment due to rise in population because number of the applicants are more but job vacancies are minimum.Even,over use of technology has replace man-work.Therefore,to fulfil basic needs ,young ones commit crime. For example, statistics reveal that snatching, mugging and so many other crimes are at peak in metro cities which are committed by the either juveniles or youngsters. In addition, both parents in metropolitans are bread-winners because of which it is hard to spend quality time with children as they have hectic schedule and so many daily chores to do.Hence, their offspring get deprived of parents’ guidance and moral values, which lead them to be in the bad society along with getting into malpractices. For instance, brats of rich families are often seen in such problems, quarrles and fights with their peers.

To address this problem, firstly, government must establish small-scale industries in villages, town and large scale in cities so that more and more jobs can be attained by the warm bloods of any country. Secondly, parents must spend some valuable time and understand the needs as well as problems of their children, which may bring them to be on the right path. Such as sitting for some particular time with children by having food, going out, enjoying altogether in weekends.

To conclude, after considering all the above points, I personally believe that mutual efforts of parents, law-makers and individuals need to be put for eradicating this problem from the society.
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