please assess my acadmic writing tas 2 aiming for band 7

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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chinoy190
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Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 12:55 am

please assess my acadmic writing tas 2 aiming for band 7

Post by chinoy190 »

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.
Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.


The rising number of population in metropolitan places has caused significant repercussions. This has resulted to the incessant spread of pollution and an escalation of poverty. However, there are several preventive measures that the government can implement in order to address this social problem.
Primarily, it is often said that an increase of inhabitants in a well established region is accompanied by a rise in pollution. In cosmopolitan regions, there are impoverished groups who live in squalor. Some of them have chosen to settle in the city because they believe that that they can easily find an employment in this place. For example, in the Philippines, there are poor individuals who built homes in the boulevard of Metro Manila, thus contributing to the amount of waste. Clearly, these people dispose their rubbish to the ocean, which may harm marine animals. In addition, it is apparent that most of the less affluent cohort has large number of families. These members have personal needs, which cause burden to the brad winner of the family. Since the city has number of educated workers, impecunious group often seems to struggle in searching a better employment. To illustrate, they cannot procure a descent job since they did not finish their education. Hence, these people will suffer from poverty, which results to higher incidence of famine.
However, it can never be denied that the government can implement platforms, which will mitigate the social dilemma. First of all, they can increase the number of employment offers in suburbs such as providing them lands that can be cultivated. Therefore, impoverished people will not aggregate in the city. Secondly, the government can provide programs such as sex education to these individual. As an instance, public health practioners can orient them the appropriate use of contraceptives, which will control the number of family members.
To conclude, the proliferation of pollution and the exacerbation of poverty are the negative ramifications of a rise of residents in the city. Nevertheless, government’s projects can curtail this social issue. It is very likely that the poverty will b curbed if the government provides them job opportunities in suburbs.
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