URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS RATE

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Robeena
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:06 pm

URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS RATE

Post by Robeena »

Dear, EVERYONE! I have my IELTS test aftertomorrow on Saturday, January 17th ! so I just want anyone to rate my task 1 response whether it is a band 5 or 6 or 7 etc !!! just to feel comfortable and not worry plus correct my misakes which i have before its too latee!!!! :(

Here is my response! and the TASK 1 QUESTION is on www.ielts.org ... which is the only task one bar chart question on it..
here is the link for it if you wanna save time searching for it http://www.ielts.org/PDF/120430_academi ... ask_1A.pdf
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The bar chart above illustrates the number of British students (male, female) in further education in three different years, divided into two groups, either obtaining a full-time or part-time education.

Overall, female students by far has seen the highest rate of education and their level of education swelled by time. By contrast, figures male part-time education seekers fluctuated over the period.

Looking at the graph, a tremendous difference was seen between the fulltime and the partime education . In 1970/71, the rate of of male part time learners was higher than full time learners by over 85%, 1million and 100 thousand students were noted, respectively. However this figure shrunk to approximately 850thousand students in 1980/81 for those who chose part time education, whereas there was a slight increase in the number of full time students to about 150 thousand. In 1990/91, the number of part time students recovered to about 900 thousand, while the full time students figure rose to 230thousand.

Finally, increasing figures were recorded for female students whether having part time or full time education. Starting from 780thousand part time students and 50thousand for the full time in 1970/71 to 1100,000 and 230 thousand in 1990/91 respectively, where part time students were at its peak.
Acatalepsy
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by Acatalepsy »

Although, I can't see the graph I can point out a few corrections for your graph description.

Firstly, you use some inappropriate phrases such as 'swelled by time' , 'tremendous difference' (you can use huge or significant), "has seen the highest" (this seems to be like you are talking about present year, you could instead use 'was seen to have the highest' , etc

Secondly, I am not sure why you write 1991/92 and 780thousand. It would be wiser to avoid such writing and instead write the numbers in words except when referring to year.

Thirdly, i would avoid writing "looking at the graph" since it doesn't sound academic.

Fourthly, some sentences do not sound grammatically correct such as this one.'Finally, increasing figures were recorded for female students whether having part time or full time education.''Starting from 780thousand part time students and 50thousand for the full time in 1970/71 to 1100,000 and 230 thousand in 1990/91 respectively, where part time students were at its peak.'

I think it would qualify as a band 5, and 6 if you avoid little mistakes. Good Luck!!
Robeena
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 8:06 pm

Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by Robeena »

Thanks for your feedback! .. I appreciate it! ..
mmg21
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 11:13 am

Re: URGEEEENT!!!! PLEASE ALL INSTRUCTORS/EXAMINERS/STUDENTS

Post by mmg21 »

Use of mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?________________________________________________________________________________________________
Technological advancements in 20th century have dramatically revolutionized the globe. And now, in 21st century, human’s life style has changed altogether with the take-over of recent scientific modalities - one of them is the mobile phone. Having a cellular phone has become a need of today. Some argue that its usage should be banned in community places while others think the way round. I assent with the former ones completely, and will present the rationale to it.
Firstly, other people in public places can get disturbed on the part of one person using his mobile phone. For instance, if a person is in some library and his cellular device just start ringing loudly so there will be a harsh break in the calm and silent environment of the library. So using a cellphone in shared places especially in a place like the library cannot be appreciated.
Secondly, mobile phones can cause the disturbance in places where people get together for entertainment and enjoying their valuable scanty free time¬ which they have sorted out from the busy routine. For example, it can never be an act of decency for a person to talk on mobile phone while sitting in a cinema. If someone does that then it will definitely annoy other people in the hall and his companions sitting beside him. Thus it is evident from the example that mobile phones should not be used in public places.
To conclude, it has been proven, in the light of above mentioned examples that cell-phone use should be forbidden in social places. Furthermore it is suggested that some separate spaces can be allocated, for the one willing or in need to use the cellular phone, so that others might not be disturbed.
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