Grade my essay please

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sopnopriyo
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2013 5:44 pm

Grade my essay please

Post by sopnopriyo »

I've collected a topic given in this website by Ryan sir and written an essay on it. I want you experts to grade my essay as I am appearing in IELTS in 25th January.
In some cultures, children are expected to follow very strict rules of behavior. In other cultures, children are allowed to do almost anything they want. What are the merits of each opinion? What is your position on the matter? Include relevant examples in your response.
There are many countries where kids are supposed to abide by strict rules in terms of behavior; on the other hand some cultures give the freedom to their children regarding this. So, there are some strong reasons that lead the variations in different nationality. In my opinion, I prefer infants to give them the independency and let them allow doing whatever they wish.
To begin, in most of the countries children are likely to follow every rules and regulations that their parents and society suggest. The most notable reason for this is long term prejudice. The case is very common mostly in middle-east country where maintaining religious view is mandatory. But, all these customs are not included in the religion references thus the society enforce their kids to abide these. Some long terms customs that have been existing in the society for a long time is causing these problems. As a result, old people are expecting that young generation would also come in path and follow these in a strict way.
However, there are other cultures where children are allowed to express their views in a deliberate way. They can do whatever their minds say and so on. So, the most significant reason is developing the mentality of society because broad minded people are always encouraging their children to do something that they want. For example, Parents do not expose any serious concern to their children because they want their child to be what they want to. So, the result is often good from different point of view.
In my point of view, I want children to do whatever their hearts say because if anything weighty put on their head then they would feel lots of pressure indeed. One of my cousins, for example is mentally disable to communicate with all the people. He only can utter that he has been taught rather he cannot say anything from his brain. The reason is he did not get the right to express his ideas in his own way.
In conclusion, after considering all the reasons including prejudice and broad minded; it is clear that these are causing different variations of behavior in different societies. So, I want children to be given liberty.
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