Please evaluate my essay

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Ligy
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:50 pm

Please evaluate my essay

Post by Ligy »

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that rich countries should help developing states at the time of environmental catastrophes.This essay agrees with this statement because they have a moral obligation to do so and the aids would alleviate the sufferings of the victims.

To begin with,affluent nations have the responsibility to assist poor countries during natural disasters.This is because calamities such as earthquake, tsunami and flood would demolish the infrastructure of the affected countries and people may struggle to meet basic human needs such as food,water and shelter.Developed nations which are financial stable have moral obligation to support disasters proned nations by providing money ,food and clothes.For example,the united states of America donated 1 million dollars for the improvement of tsunami affected areas in India.

Moreover,humanitarian relief would reduce the sufferings of people.Natural disasters give physical as well as mental trauma to the victims in terms of burn, fractures and the psychological trauma due to the lose of loved ones ,that can only be solved by proper medical treatment as well as rehabilitation. Developed nations should give financial and materisl aid for the rehabilitation of calamity affected countries.For instance,government of India received financial support from European nations for constructing new villa for the people who losed their home during flood in 2007.

To conclude,I believe that affluent nations should support the unprivileged countries at the time of natural disasters because that would lessen the sufferings of the people and they are accountable for helping.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please evaluate my essay

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, a good essay. Points are clear and developed. However, I think that you could have also looked at NGOs and international organisations (e.g. UN, Arab League).

The range of grammar is good, with some nice use of modals. However, there are some mistakes, though these do not affect meaning.

Vocabulary is very good, with some topic-specific items, e.g. moral obligation, alleviate, tsunami, (psychological) trauma, rehabilitation.

Well done!
David
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