task 2please evalute aiming band 7

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Marwa1981
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:27 pm

task 2please evalute aiming band 7

Post by Marwa1981 »

Task 2;
Consumers nowadays are faced with increased advertising from competitive companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by these advertisements? what measures can be taken to tackle this issue?
In recent years, advertisement industry is snowballing. Product producers compete with each others to attract customers. I totally agree with the notion that advertisements have a great impact on people choices. Additionally, this essay will discuss the actions to solve this issue.
There is no point in denying that business owners depend on advertising companies to raise their profits. By chasing the customers in the internet, television and newspapers, the majority of individuals would buy different products to follow the trend. Companies which produce similar items may exaggerate the advantages of their products through advertising campaigns, so consumers buy the products which seem better in the advertisement. For instance a recent report published in the guardian newspapers showed that 55% of individuals who buy new products make their choices through watching advertising . Thus the bond between sales and advertisements is clear.
Various actions can be taken to solve this problem .Firstly, authorities should impose regulations to control the accuracy of data in the advertising campaigns, so individuals not deceived by false information .Secondly, consumer protection unions must evaluate different products and publish their opinions to guide the customers and provide them with advice. Finally, for the protection of citizens’ health advertising on items like cigarettes and fast food must be banned completely. Thus would decrease their impact on public health.
In conclusion, advertising is an essential tool in the competition between companies. I agree with the great effect of it on consumers’ opinions and different interventions should be done to limit this impact.
Last edited by Marwa1981 on Fri Apr 28, 2017 8:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: task 2please evalute aiming band 7

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The second part of the question is interesting - why should any measures be taken?

The points are good. I notice that the second main paragraph is much shorter than the first. You could develop the second by elaborating on how you define 'unhealthy' products. (For instance, one Big Mac a month is not going to really affect your health, but three a day will.)

However, I'm much more interested in how the other 45% of people choose what to buy and why you think (or do not think) there should be limits on them.

Grammar and vocabulary are both good, in terms of range and accuracy. There are some high level vocabulary items - exaggerate, consumer protection.

Overall, a good essay which could easily be made into a very good one.

All the best,
David
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