Task 2, Sir, I would be blissfully happy, if you give me prompt evaluation .My exam is just around the corner.

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luke Thompson
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:14 am

Task 2, Sir, I would be blissfully happy, if you give me prompt evaluation .My exam is just around the corner.

Post by luke Thompson »

In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development.

This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the

country side. This situation may bring someproblems for the country as a whole.

 

What are these problems?

How might they be reduced?

 

In comparison with even the recent past,benefits of increased business and industrial centers seem to be more inevitably important to conurbations  than ever before. As a result, citizens of major cities have greater access to jobs and facilities which leads to considerably high standard  of living .but, however,people in countryside may not be able enjoy same  benefits.This poses some problems to the country.In this essay,I will try to reveal some possible problems with affordable solutions before a resoned conclusion is drawn.

Firstly,people who live in rural places might try to move to urban parts of the country in order to have a better employment opportunities and greater access to facilities.however, an increased number of population in cities might put pressure on housing and local services.As a salient example,creation of slums and more congested streets which might irritating to everybody.another worth noting thing is that as countries economy boosts , cities get richer while villages get poorer.This might cause more crimes and civil unrest.

Concerning remedies,the most efficient solution lies in improving the lifestyle and facilities in countrysides.To illustrate the point, amenities such as parks,hospitals and seats of learning can be built or reconstructed as to the  high standarts.Thefore,government can keep maintainance of people between city and village.Futhermore,incentives to companies to relocate in rural place or requirement for doctors and teachers to spend half of their career in countryside might be influential to make city and village develop simultaneously.

In conclusion the role stable economy continues to be a controversial topic.Notwithstanding, suggestions given above are taken into implementation,authorities may easily figure out any problems.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Re: Task 2, Sir, I would be blissfully happy, if you give me prompt evaluation .My exam is just around the corner.

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The introduction is too long.

The first main paragraph is confusing. There are some good points, but you need to divide them into individual points and explain each in turn.

The first point in the second main paragraph also needs explanation. The second point is good, but how can this be done?

There is no personal conclusion.

Vocabulary and grammar are not used to create clear points.

All the best,
David
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