Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

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qowlaks
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Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

Post by qowlaks »

We have been living in the nuclear age now for over half a century. Since the first atomic bombs were developed, nuclear technology has provided governments with the ability to totally destroy the planet. Yet the technology has been put to positive use as an energy source and in certain areas of medicine.
To what extent is nuclear technology a danger to life on Earth? What are the benefits and risks associated with its use?

You should write at least 250 words.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
My answer:
--------------------

These days, the technology in nuclear bombs has been developing dramatically. As the result, the threats of its use are getting bigger and bigger even if the technology could be employed positively. I would like to say how people regard the nuclear technology and what we have to consider about this.

To begin with, I would like to mention North Korea. Since Korea was split into two nations, North and South Korea, North Korea has protected themselves from other countries attacks. They continue experiments to strengthen and show off their power to the world by threatening other countries, especially South Korea.

In terms of protection for nations, Nuclear technology is likely to be regarded as a powerful weapon , however, if we consider about the results from its use, we must take the precautions to handle the problems. It's well-known that nuclear use has massive potential impact. Once we use the technology as a weapon, it coulddespoil the area affected by killing numerous creatures. In other words, its use destroys the Earth’s ecosystems. Furthermore, we can’t expect all the results that brings something bad to us.

One of the results scientifically shown is that any human being, animal and plants can’t live in the area impacted by its use due to radiation. We can see many cases in the past about radiation leaking from plants and can’t ignore the insignificant influences even though the amount is little. In addition, the countermeasure for radiation doesn't seem to work effectively to return the environment to its original state, it could take over decades to revert the environment to its original state.

In conclusion, the nuclear technology has considerable power in both positive and negative ways, however, we don’t have any proper technology balance yet that can cope with the result from its use. In many aspects It still has more disadvantages than advantages, therefore, we must prepare global standards for nuclear safety precautions


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Last edited by qowlaks on Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Introduction - I'm not sure that the tech used in nuclear bombs has developed much in recent years. The effect of these bombs is already massive and testing has been banned by most countries.

First main paragraph - A lot of people would argue that Kim is simply protecting himself, not his people/country, but that's a different debate ....

Second main paragraph - What's your point?

Third main paragraph - Er .. I hate to tell you this, but Hiroshima and Nagasaki are inhabited. Even Chernobyl is. And the wildlife around Chernobyl is apparently doing quite well.

You haven't even mentioned nuclear energy or medicine, as mentioned in the question statement!

This is weak essay. You haven't mentioned key aspects of nuclear technology and your arguments are weak and unclear.

Vocabulary and grammar are quite messy - "can't ignore the insignificant influences"?

Sorry, but this needs to be completely rewritten.

All the best,
David
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qowlaks
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Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2015 1:21 pm

Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

Post by qowlaks »

@David.IELTS.Examiner Thank you so much for your reply. I have a question. For me, this topic was not familiar but i tried to write as much as i knew about this. If i got a topic like this in the test what would be the marking criteria and result given for someone who has no knowledge about the subject ? Even if i have no idea. Thank you so much


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David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hi!
Well, to be honest, if you really have no idea about the topic, there’s nothing you can do. In IELTS writing and speaking, you must be prepared for a wide range of topics.
I’m NOT saying this is you, but in the real test, you would be amazed at how many business students cannot discuss business or how many IT guys cannot talk about computers (for instance). Most candidates, in my experience can barely talk about their families or hobbies. So, is it really about knowledge of the topic or is it more likely knowledge of English?
All the best,
David
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Flick
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Re: Please check my answer [ Task 2 ]

Post by Flick »

qowlaks wrote: Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:21 am We have been living in the nuclear age now for over half a century. Since the first atomic bombs were developed, nuclear technology has provided governments with the ability to totally destroy the planet. Yet the technology has been put to positive use as an energy source and in certain areas of medicine.
To what extent is nuclear technology a danger to life on Earth? What are the benefits and risks associated with its use?

You should write at least 250 words.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
My answer:
--------------------

Over recent decades, the technology in nuclear bombs has developeddramatically. As the result, the threats of its use are getting bigger and bigger, even though the technology can be employed positively. This essay will discuss how people regard nuclear technology and its importance in our daily lives.

To begin with, I would like to mention North Korea.(<--Reword to: "Korea is a prime example of the power of nuclear technology.') Since Korea was split into two nations, North and South Korea, North Korea has protected themselves from other countries' attacks. They continue experiments to strengthen and show off their power to the world by threatening other countries, especially South Korea.

In terms of protection for nations, nuclear technology is likely to be regarded as a powerful weapon. However, if we consider the results from its use, we must take suitable precautions to handle the problems. It's well-known that nuclear use has a massive potential impact. Once we use the technology as a weapon, it could despoil the area affected by killing everything in range. In other words, its use destroys the Earth’s ecosystems. Furthermore, we can’t expect all the results that brings something bad to us.(<--I don't understand this sentence.)

One of the results scientifically shown is that no human being, animal or plant can live in the area impacted by its use due to radiation. We can see many cases of radiation leaking from plants, and can’t ignore the significant influences, even though the amount of radiation is small. In addition, the countermeasures for radiation don't seem to work effectively to return the environment to its original state, which can take many decades to recover.

In conclusion, nuclear technology has considerable power in both positive and negative ways. However, we don’t have any proper technology balance yet that can cope with the results from its use. In many aspects it still has more disadvantages than advantages, therefore, we must prepare global standards for nuclear safety precautions.


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