(Re-posting) Please Assess my Essay Task2 - Thanks in advance

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faridhassan
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(Re-posting) Please Assess my Essay Task2 - Thanks in advance

Post by faridhassan »

Q: Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

A:
Deciding where to live is one of the most critical decisions that everybody makes. Specially, when it come to the permanent residency when the person has to choose between living in a separate house or in an apartment. According to one camp, life in a house would guarantee more personal space privacy than living in a flat. While others think that it is too expensive to live in a private home. Both pros and cons would be analyzed prior reaching an informed opinion.
Firstly, staying at a separate house would ensure better control on your private life style and personal issues. For example, stand-alone building will keep you away from any annoying activities may be held by neighbors. In addition, having a private area gives the resident the flexibility of area usage. This means adding or adjusting any part of the house as per the needs. Thus, it could be concluded that the life in a house is more controllable and luxurious.

On the other side, the cost of living having such free life is very high comparing to living in an apartment. For instance, the price of small house in acceptable location may be triple or quadruple, if not more, the price of a large apartment in a fabulous location. Therefore if you are not rich enough to bear such a high price, your best option would be to choose a relatively far destination which would be another disadvantage of having a separate home. So, the sacrifice that is inherent in living in house decision seems unavoidable.

After analyzing of the above, it is obvious that because of the high cost and the possible segregation from the urban community, the disadvantages of this life overweight its advantages. I expect that this will remain the case until prices of such real-estates fall down in the future.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: (Re-posting) Please Assess my Essay Task2 - Thanks in advance

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

This is a good essay!

There's a good variety of grammatical structures and vocabulary. There are mistakes, but they generally do not affect clarity or meaning. Having said that, in the conclusion, make it really clear that you are talking about houses - 'this life' is not totally clear.

The introduction is too long and you should spend more time on the main paragraphs - examples would be good.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Re: (Re-posting) Please Assess my Essay Task2 - Thanks in advance

Post by Flick »

faridhassan wrote: Sat Mar 18, 2017 2:43 pm Q: Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

A:
Deciding where to live is one of the most critical decisions that everybody makes. Especially when it come to choosing between living in a separate house or in an apartment. According to one camp, life in a house would guarantee more personal space and privacy than living in a flat, while others think that it is too expensive to live in a private home. Both pros and cons will be analyzed prior to reaching an informed opinion.

Firstly, living in a separate house ensures better control of your private life style and personal issues. For example, a stand-alone building will keep you away from any annoying activities that may be held by neighbors. In addition, having a private area gives the resident the flexibility of area usage. This means adding or adjusting any part of the house as per needs. Thus, it can be concluded that life in a house is more controllable and luxurious.

On the other side, the cost of living is very high compared to living in an apartment. For instance, the price of a small house in an acceptable location may be triple or quadruple the price of a large apartment in a fabulous location. Therefore, if you are not rich enough to bear such a high price, your best option would be to choose a relatively distant location which would be another disadvantage of having a separate home. So, the sacrifice that is inherent in living in a house seems unavoidable.

After analyzing the above, it is obvious that because of the high cost and the possible segregation from the urban community, the disadvantages of owning a house outweigh its advantages. I expect that this will remain the case until real estate prices fall in the future.
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