please check my task 1 writing

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
alnour
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2016 8:10 am

please check my task 1 writing

Post by alnour »

The graphs illustrate the percentages of students of 5 age groups who are studying for career or for interest and the amount of support they receive. It can be clearly seen that most of the students studying for their careers are under 26 years old, while the most studying for interest are the ones above 49 years old.
Students ,whom are studying for career, percentages decline throughout the age groups. Starting with 80% for under 26 years old and ending with almost 20% for those over 49 years old. The age group (40 to 49) witnessed the same proportion for both who are studying for interest or for career with nearly 40%. I the other hand, percentages of students studying for interest kept increasing from 10% until it reached 70% for over 49 years old students.
The highest employer support rate was for students of ages above 26, while the lowest percentage was the age group (30-39) with merely above 30%. Age group (26-29) had support of 50% of the employers' supply, however over 49 students were lower than the latter. Students from 40 to 49 years old had slightly higher rates of supply than those between 30 and 39 years old.
Attachments
t 1 1 1.JPG
t 1 1 1.JPG (66.67 KiB) Viewed 1315 times
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: please check my task 1 writing

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, not bad, but there are two key problems. First, you haven't included the second chart in your summary. Secondly, I think that you could have included more information in your report. There are not many pieces of data in the two charts.

There are quite a lot of grammatical errors, but the report can be understood quite easily.

All the best,
David
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: please check my task 1 writing

Post by Flick »

alnour wrote:The graphs illustrate the percentages of students of 5 age groups who are studying for a career or for interest, and the amount of support they receive. It can be clearly seen that most of the students who are studying for a career are under 26 years old, while most studying for interest are those above 49 years old.

Students ,whom are studying for career, percentages decline throughout the age groups.(<--Reword to: "The percentage of students who are studying for a career decreases as age increases.") Starting with 80% for under 26 years old and ending with almost 20% for those over 49 years old. The age group (40 to 49) witnessed the same proportion for both who are studying for interest or for career with nearly 40%.Those aged 40 - 49 had the same proportion of students studying for a career as for interest at 40% each.") On the other hand, percentages of students studying for interest increased from 10% for students under 26, until it reached 70% for over 49 year old students.

The highest employer support rate was for students aged under 26 with 60%, while the lowest percentage was for the 30 - 39 year olds with just 30%. Students aged 26 - 29 had employer support of 50%. However, students over 49 had about 35% support, and students from 40 to 49 years old had slightly higher rates of support at 40%.
Post Reply